Honorable mention: this picture.
We are still counting through the 2014 signs of the upcoming apocalypse. At current rate—let me check—yes, it appears there will be twelve of these things. We've got to pick one now for July, and July actually has quite a few fine candidates.
There's a case to be made that everything former Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin has ever said would make a good case for the apocalypse. Certainly, Sarah Palin's deep thoughts on why Obama should be impeached would qualify, with bonus points for having written those words for the Breitbart site, of all things.
On the other hand, it would feel wrong to end the year with no specific win by America's Dumbest Congressman, Rep. Louie Gohmert. Gohmert spent his July melting down over the threat posed by tiny immigrant children in a truly spectacular way, asserting them to be a plot to take over Texas, a reason for Texas to form its own Navy, and an existential threat to the nation.
Outgoing Rep. Michele Bachmann may have beaten all of that with her theory that Obama wanted to keep all the immigrant children in the country so that he could later perform medical experiments on them. You have to wonder how a mind even gets there—but let's not contemplate it.
There was this. (Warning: clown-related nightmare fuel.) And there's the Republican congressman who went through an entire hearing with two senior officials from our own government in which he presumed, from their ethnic-soundingish names, that they were here from India.
I am familiar with your country. I love your country. And I am hopeful with the new change in regime that the future and the land of promise and the land of opportunity of India can finally become so...
[...] So, just as your capital is welcome here to produce good-paying jobs in the U.S., I’d like our capital to be welcome there and there to be free enough capital so that both sides are on the same territory. And I ask cooperation and commitment and priority from your government in so doing. Can I have that?
Please read below the fold for July's actual apocalyptic winner.
The cruel irony was that this fellow was elected by his Florida district to replace resigning cocaine congressman Trey Radel. After this episode, they probably wished they had cocaine guy back.
That's a close one, but we'll give the worst thing to happen during the month to the Arizona conservative rabble that had assembled to shriek angry slogans at frightened immigrant children, but instead ended up protesting a bus full of young YMCA campers.
At one point, several buses approached the protesters, driving east. The crowd started to confront the buses but the protesters were told the buses were carrying kids from the YMCA.
"How do we know it's the YMCA?" a few protesters shouted, but the buses were allowed to continue east on the highway.
Yep, that really does merit the title of
worst. We're all screwed, you know. Congratulations, Arizona, I have the feeling you could fill an entire
worst of America list by your own self. That's merely an observation, not a challenge.