As most of you are probably aware, this month is a special holiday season.
Yes! Fifty-eight years and four months ago, Bizarro first appeared (in Superboy # 68). That means today is Bizarro's Non-Birthday (as was yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that...)
Shamefully, both the liberal and the conservative media have been waging a war on Bizarro's Non-Birthday. Mention of it is as conspicuously absent in the pages of The Nation and Mother Jones as it is at National Review Online and Drudge Report.
Oh, well. At least Orly Taitz, Jerome Corsi, Joni Ernst and many Republicans members of the House are dedicated to keeping the memory of Bizarro alive by saying and doing things truly worthy of the spirit of Bizarro. Sunday Puzzle salutes them -- and, at least for tonight, joins with them by presenting two puzzles truly in keeping with the spirit of the holiday.
Let's start by singing together a holiday classic: "One method by which Fury is labeled by me".
In case you've forgotten the words, here (courtesy of the Sunday Puzzle gremlins) are the lyrics:
One method by which Fury is labeled by me:
Commies aren't allowed place to sleep.
Wee master jokes:
"Speak denigratingly of man's kindly boss."
Heavenly steps
Appeared trimmed at his resting place.
Wee master jokes:
"Dried grass contains ruminant!"
Group of cows engage in sexual activities;
Impoverished youngster prepares food.
Although wee master tells jokes
He does not engage in any divination
Jokes about online master tickle my fancy.
Bake feathers which fell long distance to earth;
Also, engage in sinful activities next to the small bed I sleep in
To the point that prolonged low inarticulate sounds are about to be made!
Ah! Now there's a song to delight any Bizarro! And I'm sure it's a song all of you have heard and sung many times. But if you're having trouble remembering it, come on down below the orange kryptonite chunk for some help recalling it -- plus another new puzzle even more in the holiday spirit!
If you're having trouble recognizing the words to "One method by which Fury is labeled by me", that could be because the gremlins One-Offed the lyrics before giving them to me to paste into the diary.
What that means is the gremlins took 16 lines of a well-known song and changed one letter in each line. The change might be the addition of a letter (cat becomes cart), the removal of a letter (cat becomes at), or the substitution of a letter (cat becomes bat) -- but only a single letter was changed in each line.
After changing one letter and thus creating a slightly different line, they then wrote a paraphrase of the altered line (being careful not to use any word which appeared in the original or altered line in the paraphrase).
Your challenge is to figure out what the altered lines are and what the original lines were. But before you start solving, a few words of warning. While the gremlins are only allowed to change one letter in each line, they maintain they are free to make as many changes as they like to punctuation, capitalization, and even word spacing. Knowing the gremlins, I suspect they took full advantage of that freedom.
And here's a puzzle even more in keeping with the holiday spirit: a brand-new 78 (!) clue Julie-Crostic.
JulieCrostics are a special kind of acrostic puzzle, named in honor of Julie Waters who started the Sunday Puzzle series here 7 years ago. If you're not familiar with how JulieCrostics work you can find a detailed explanation in last night's Sunday Puzzle Warm-Up.
If you're new you should be warned that we have some mischievous gremlins who like to tamper with the Sunday night puzzle clues. In particular you should keep in mind:
* you can't trust the clue capitalization;
* you can't trust the clue punctuation;
* sometimes you can't even trust the word spacing.
The gremlins also like bundling the clues into tidy little groups of 3, regardless of how many answers there actually are per row. If the number of clues doesn't divide evenly by 3, they add a space-filler clue or two at the end to fill out the final bundle.
A small request: please don't put any any spoilers in the comment subject lines. Use the subject line of comments to identify what your comment will be about but keep any guesses as to clue answers or the verticals confined to the comment itself. That way folks who are still trying to crack a clue for themselves won't inadvertently see the answer before they're ready to see it. Thanks!
Okay, I think that covers the basics. Here are the clues for tonight's puzzle. The first person to crack the verticals for this puzzle is requested to post the link these lead to. Have fun and I'll see you in comments!
1. *
2. source of news, for some
3. food lane
4. * head location
5. window part
6. gold man
7. characteristic of Superman's old girl friends
8. extensions
9. belles
10. before
11. type of radical
12. well-known Jacques
13. type of gun/dog
14. between Rio and Hong Kong
15. evidence of absence
16. Southeast Asian people
17. 0, for instance
18. volley
19. like *, one of these is famous for speaking in numbers
20. often accompanies a manuscript
21.desirable quality
22. like *, a kind of hat
23. done on a large scale
24. text-to-speech voice
25. really liked
26. henning
27. cheese
28. predecessors to IBM
29. tie
30. kind of fiction
31. large portion of *
32. exams
33. camera copies
34. large random risk
35. guess
36. Turkish mud
37. emergency procedure
38. complain
39. flying fishbowl
40. well-known Lou G
41. well-known Smith
42. well-known ...
43. peculiar
44. Canadian-American political commentator
45. leg bone
46. long follower
47. purpose
48. name of Israeli prime minister
49. Brazil, perhaps
50. candid host
51. out of shape
52. * opinion source
53. Jose Pellegrino
54. Alfred Frenzel and Tina Turner
55. site of growth which made * 51
56. droops
57. complications
58. predecessor to LA
59. splash liquid
60. failures
61. century's end
62. next year
63. imitate
64. where * words come out
65. deep red
66. cold test
67. like *, a kind of clown
68. well-known Elliot
69. die, fly!
70. phrase often used to describe *
71. false front
72. dignity
73. heavy load
74. kind of rag
75. nose
76. bask
77. burden
78. common words