GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or even just thinking of quitting, please join us! We kindly ask that politics be left outside. You can also click the GUS tag to view all diary posts, or access the GUS Library (the archived version for now). Want to make sure you never miss us? Follow (♥) the GUS tag to keep GUS in your Stream and easily find the link to the latest one. It's just that easy!
A message to ALL quitters (and would-be quitters): You don't have to avoid GUS if you have a failed quit. We won't give you a bad time or nag you. We consider the failed quits as "practice" for the real quit.
If you're reading this, chances are you have at some point in your life at least considered stopping smoking (or are trying to figure out how to support someone who is doing so). Some of you have even successfully stopped smoking, at least for a while (stopping for a while totally counts, by the way, as long as you don't abandon the idea of stopping permanently at some point). Others of you may be still in the midst of figuring out how to stop for good.
As current or former quitters and supporters, it's also likely you've heard that timeworn, well-meaning, and usually unhelpful advice from somebody along the way: "...why don't you just, y'know, STOP? You know it's bad for you."
Because of course that has never occurred to us, right?
"Gee, why didn't I think of that?? I am totally gonna just stop doing it. In retrospect, it seems so obvious. And it's bad for me too, for reals? I did not know that."
Okay, maybe that pushed my sarcasm button a little, but that kind of thing used to drive me absolutely nuts when I was still smoking. If it were that simple---and all would-be quitters were just that oblivious---then sure, that sort of thing might be good advice. And if I'm honest, one reason it bugged so much was because I recognized a kernel of truth in it: eventually, I was going to have to stop. I didn't know how at the time, but in functional terms, that was going to have to be a part of the eventual outcome.
And that was all it took for my inner two year-old to yell "NO!" and dig in my heels.
Smokers get conflicting information, too: media messages still selling it in positive ways (smoking as cool, edgy, dangerous, rebellious, artsy; glamorous celebrities puffing away in paparazzi shots and on the big screen); public health messages framing it as 100% negative and failing to acknowledge the behavioral components (emotional attachment, correlation to other issues) adequately.
Add to that the internal conflict inherent in the process of behavioral change, something that forces us to recognize, acknowledge, confront, and reinvent the way we react to our own behavioral impulses; oftentimes we feel as though we are fighting with ourselves, and the process may involve a bit of backsliding and a truckload of rationalization and bargaining. It's often a bumpy, meandering path between deciding to stop and figuring out the best course of action to actually achieve that outcome.
To further complicate things, once we do decide to hit that button, jam on the brakes, flip the switch over from "smoker" to "former smoker" (or "nonsmoker" or "someone who chose to stop smoking"...however you prefer to label or identify it), our experiences will be as diverse as we ourselves are.
Some---okay, MOST---of us struggle a bit, and have to try a few (or more than a few) times before it sticks. Some of us stop one day (deliberately, like me, or without thinking about it, like my mom) and never pick up another cigarette; that doesn't mean we didn't struggle, it just means we dealt with the struggle in a non-typical way. Some of us enlist the help of others, finding support among people going through (or those who have been through) the same things. Some of us enlist the help of tools (widgets to track progress, NRTs to ease physical symptoms) or add therapy or medication (clinical support, counseling, self-help support groups or communities) to the mix. It's like a really uncomfortable "choose your own adventure" book.
The one constant---and I would argue, the one thing we all need to have in place when we finally do decide to stop smoking---is having a real desire to quit. Our reasons have to be our own, but they do have to exist; otherwise, you're just going through the motions and waiting for an excuse to not have to stop after all. If you're not sure about your reasons for wanting to stop (and they may have changed, or been impacted by other things, since you last thought about it), it might be a good idea to reconsider and take a little time to figure it out. It will be worth the effort, and likely save you some time and frustration in the end.
Who's Your Little Buddy?
1BQ, 2thanks, 3rdGenFeminist, 417els, A Man Called Gloom, Abra Crabcakeya, Actbriniel, addisnana, AfroPonix, aishmael, Alise, Alpha99, also mom of 5, ambeeeant, American in Kathmandu, amk for obama, andsarahtoo, angry marmot, Anne933, anodnhajo, aoeu, AoT, aquarius2001, arcadesproject, Archie2227, arodb, Arthur Wolf (in memoriam), assyrian64, Aunt Acid, awkawk, b4uknowit, BadKitties, bamablue, BARAKABETH, barnowl, b barrie, bdizz, beatpanda, beefydaddy18, betterdemsonly, BFSkinner, bgblcklab1, BigAlinWashSt, Bike Crash, BirderWitch, BJKay, bleeding heart, blingbling65, blue husky, Blue Intrigue, bluedust, BluejayRN, BlueJessamine, BlueMississippi, Bluerall, bluestatedem84, BoiseBlue, Boston Beans, boudi08, Brahman Colorado, breedlovinit, BrenP, BrianParker14, Bronxist, broths, BrowniesAreGood, bsmechanic, Buckeye Nut Schell, buddabelly, Bugsydarlin, bumbi, BusyinCA, cactusgal, cagernant, Carol in San Antonio, CathiefromCanada, CathodeRay, CDH in Brooklyn, Cedwyn (in memorium), cee4, 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Have you had some experience with the effects of smoking, and want to write a GUS diary or host an open thread? Please sign up in the Butt Can (Tip Jar), and name the day and time that works for you. The weekly GUS Diary Schedule is below, with regular hosts in bold. There's an open slot just calling your name!
Wed PM: Vacationland
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Fri PM: Open
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Sat PM: Open
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Sun PM: Open
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Mon PM: Open
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Tue PM: Open
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If you can spare a few hours, please consider hosting GUS. It doesn't have to be a permanent slot; it can be a one-time deal or just an open thread! Not sure where to start? Just ask for help in the Butt Can (Tip Jar). Seriously, it doesn't have to include specific elements or require all sorts of fabulous diary formatting skills. The regulars will make sure stuff gets carried over from diary to diary, so if you want to just tell your story or provide an open thread and host for a few hours, that's cool too. You do not need to be perfect, you do not need to become a regular, and you would make some quitters very happy.