Look, it says 'Conservative' right there. LOVE ME.
What you missed at the conservative gathering known as CPAC today, almost certainly because you had better things to do.
- Sen. Marco Rubio botched foreign policy knowledge 101 during his speech, predictably because he was trying to baselessly paint Obama as an appeaser.
Speaking before the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Maryland, Rubio told radio and TV host Sean Hannity that “if we wanted to defeat them militarily, we could do it. [Obama] doesn’t want to upset Iran.”
But Iran doesn't support ISIS, and has engaged in military operations against ISIS themselves. You would think a would-be presidential candidate who sees ISIS as the current single biggest world threat would have been aware of that.
- Not to be outdone, ex-Texas Gov. Rick Perry supposed that Syrian President Assad launched chemical weapons attacks in that country because refugee children have been crossing into America from Mexico.
No one should be surprised that dictators like Assad would cross the President’s red line because he knows the President won’t even defend the line that separates our nation from Mexico.
- Also not to be outdone, Newt Gingrich linked Hillary Clinton to Nazi Germany.
- Fox News angry head Sean Hannity conducted many of today's important interviews, because Fox News is fair and balanced. He praised the crowd for being young and good-looking and ... fertile.
"I can look out in the crowd -- I kind of have x-ray Fox vision -- and I can see some of you women, you don't even know it yet, but you're pregnant," Hannity said. "It's not your fault. It's not his fault. Who's fault is it?"
- Rand Paul said he would both "propose the largest tax cut in history" and "balance the budget in just 5 years." No details, but it presumably involves a new product he's invented called Soylent Grandma.
- After Jeb Bush's last efforts at giving formal speeches fell flat, he declined to give one at CPAC, opting solely for a Q & A session. He was booed several times (immigration), suffered a walkout of some CPAC attendees, and had to face a crowd that had already been graced with insulting jokes about his wife, but turned in a performance that Politico graciously titled "Jeb Bush survives." His message? "I’m not an expert on the ways of Washington."
All in all it was a very samey effort in which all potential candidates went down the checklist of saying they're for a stronger military because Obama bad, and also tax cuts. The same conservative personalities said the same things, and so on, and also Donald Trump was there.