Is it possible that I don't love, support, or care about Israel anymore?
I was thinking about this just now and then I ran across fladem's diary, "Bibi: I am over Israel." The gist of it is that "Israel," as personified by its current Prime Minister and by everyone who reacted to yesterday's propaganda stunt with anything other than contempt, disgust and revulsion for its indefensible and unpardonable cynicism, wants to start a war with Iran that will get a lot of Americans, a lot of Iranians, and probably a lot of Israelis -- but not Mr. Netanyahu, not Mr. Boehner, and not any other such enablers -- killed.
I know plenty of people who are good, kind, generous, decent, well-meaning, intelligent, knowledgeable, pragmatic people, and as liberal as they come on practically every issue, but yet who are as far-far-far right wing when it comes to Israel as the most militant hard-core Zionists could ever hope to be. They have all fallen hook-line-and-sinker for the most egregious, deplorable, indefensible propaganda stunt the U.S. Congress has ever pulled, and allowed to have pulled on itself. I find the entire thing infuriating.
I am so infuriated by this insane, myopic rush to war, occurring so soon after the whole world got burned by our Iraq misadventure that we all pretended beforehand was so urgent that I'm finding it harder and harder to "understand" the people -- and the person -- who are beating these g*dd@m^motherf%#!ing drums of death again. Are we really back to the point where the only way to deal with a nation that people say bad things about is to start killing its citizens? Seriously?
I can't talk to anyone about this.
There is nothing good, proper, defensible or justifiable in what Messrs. Boehner and Netanyahu have done. Nothing. I don't care how much you "love" or "support" (or profess to "love" or "support") Israel. The U.S. Congress is not a platform for foreign election campaigns. The U.S. Congress has neither the authority nor the prerogative to take sides in a foreign election campaign. And the U.S. Congress has no role to play in international diplomacy.
All that said, I'm really not here to talk about that. For the first time in my life I'm having the uneasy feeling that maybe I don't "love," "support" or care about Israel anymore. I don't like this feeling, for more reasons than one.
I had a friend whom I loved and cared about deeply, and unconditionally, for a very, very long time; a brother in all but blood. I've written about this person before. That friendship is over now. I spent two years trying vainly and foolishly to salvage it, while mourning its loss at the same time. One day, last fall, shortly after I reposted that diary, I finally let all that sadness and grief turn to anger, and that one, small moment was all it took.
I realized that I don't need and can't abide someone in my life who refuses to communicate with me, cannot keep his word, never reciprocates, lies to me repeatedly and without conscience, and demands that I give him immunity for all of it. One of the commenters on the diary linked above said, "This guy sounds like a user." I thought about that, did a little research on "user" behavior, and realized that the commenter was right: My "friend" is a user. And a liar. And a hypocrite. And a terrible, terrible, terrible friend. A person with no integrity; dishonest, unreliable, untrustworthy, selfish, and mean. Here I was, for two years, grieving the loss of a friendship that this person did not even value.
Why? Why, for G-d's sake? Why do I tolerate someone like this?
I tolerated it because I loved him. I really did. From the day I met him more than half a lifetime ago, until the day I realized that he was not my friend, but was and is a user, a liar, a bad friend and a terrible person. Until the day I realized that I don't love him anymore.
That's not easy, you know. That's painful. And heartbreaking. But it's the only way to get through the stages of grief. The only way to stop being hurt and disappointed by someone like this who has made communication impossible, is to stop loving that person. I was stuck on denial, depression and bargaining for two years. I had to get myself through anger and acceptance. When I let that sadness turn to anger just for a moment, I realized -- to my eternal and everlasting shame -- that anger felt so much better.
I think the analogy, by now, is obvious, and I apologize for going on and on and for it being a little heavy-handed. But here's the thing: Are we approaching the point where we have to ask ourselves whether Israel is really our friend, or is it just a user? Do we have to allow Israel, again as personified by its Prime Minister, to treat us badly, to cynically manipulate us for its/his own purposes whatever they may be, and must we give it unequivocal blanket immunity for doing so, just because we "love" and "support" it? Can we not see that we are being used and mistreated? Does our "love" and "support" for Israel preclude us from seeing that, no matter what it does? Does our "love" and "support" for Israel require us to accept, support, ignore and/or enable this bad behavior?
I would ask Americans the same question I asked myself: Why do we tolerate a "friend" like this?
I'm sure I'll get plenty of good -- and plenty of not-so-good -- answers. I doubt any of them will make me feel any better about Israel today. We'll see how I feel tomorrow.