As sent to Marco Rubio's email, and (an abbreviated version) to the editors of my local fish-wrapper. My only regret is that I didn't put "Right Honorable" in scare quotes. Full text below the squiggle-thingy.
An Open Letter to the Right Honorable Senator, Marco Rubio:
Dear Senator Rubio,
I am writing to thank you for signing, along with 46 of your Senate colleagues, freshman Senator Tom Cotton’s open letter of March 9th to the “Leaders of the Islamic Republic of Iran”, who, judging by the response from (Iranian Foreign Minister) Dr. Javad Zarif, have a greater understanding of the complexities of international diplomacy than all 47 of you put together.
Your attempt to usurp executive authority and undermine international efforts to avert yet another major war is apparently a proud tradition among the GOP, dating back almost half a century to when then-presidential-candidate Nixon secretly torpedoed then-President Johnson’s efforts to broker a peace agreement between North and South Vietnam in 1968. Similarly, in 1980 then-presidential-candidate Reagan pressed the Iranian government to prevent them from releasing the American hostages until then-President Carter was out of office. So I guess we were overdue for yet another seditious stunt from yet another disloyal Gee-Oh-Pee politician with dreams of oval office grandeur.
Here’s the thing, Senator; our constitution tasks our executive branch with responsibility for conducting foreign affairs. Simply put, the President makes foreign policy, not you. If the GOP-controlled Congress wishes to express their disagreement, they may do so by refusing to ratify any treaty which may result from negotiations by the executive branch, or by passing a resolution stating their objections. You guys do not get to moonlight as pretend-Secretaries of State, no matter how badly you may want to.
So yes, thank you, all 47 of you. Not for your crass attempt to continue your party’s feckless tradition of undermining the good-faith efforts of an executive from “the other” party, nor for your adolescent level of understanding the real world of foreign diplomacy, but rather for making it clear to the electorate just how dangerous it was to let you kids anywhere near Washington, D.C. in the first place. You tried to poison the negotiations with Iran, but you may have succeeded only in blowing up your own future careers in national politics, which is ultimately the best, most patriotic thing you could possibly have done for America.
Sincerely, your constituent,
SirReal (Okay, I confess; that's NOT my real name.)