I think it would go something like this (sung to the tune of Blue Bayou):
Go steal nickels, go steal dimes
Tell them Jeb did some similar crimes
Tell them God said it’s you this time
They won’t buy you
Say it’s time for the G O P
(To) choose a nut case nominee
Falwell’s ghost pushed your candidacy
But they won’t buy you
Chorus:
Big bucks shy away
Even Kochs will say
They won’t buy you
Go ahead and scream
That you’re not extreme
They won’t buy you
Use your shock and awe
Tell them Harvard Law
Taught you how to make your case
But we see through the lies
Behind your shifty eyes
How dumb could we be?
VERSE
Show up at the Fox “News” debate
Say Rand Paul is too little too late
Tell why armed intervention is great
But they won’t buy you
Go explain to the G O P
Why they should drink your cold bitter tea.
If they’re sick, it’s what God meant to be?
No, they won’t buy you.
CHORUS:
You’ll cut this out some day
Or you’ll fade away,
We don’t buy you
And your high I Q
Can’t make your lies true.
We don’t buy you.
Maybe mountain goats
Cast fictitious votes
And the simple-minded swoon
But the G O P’d lose
If they pick Ted Cruz
How happy we'd be.
...................................(Steel guitar break)
Yes the world would cry
And they'd pass us by
We'd drop many bombs, let sick people die
But the G O P’d lose
If they pick Ted Cruz
How happy we'd be.
Yes, the G O P'd lose
If they pick Ted Cruuuuz
We don't.....buy....YOUUUUU!