America's Dumbest Congressman, also known as Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert, has finally weighed in on the frothing conspiracy theories surrounding
Jade Helm 15 because
of course he has.
“Over the past few weeks, my office has been inundated with calls referring to the Jade Helm 15 military exercise scheduled to take place between July 15 and September 15, 2015. This military practice has some concerned that the U.S. Army is preparing for modern-day martial law.
Keep in mind that Louie Gohmert represents the single dumbest district in all America, as evidenced by Louie Gohmert being put in office at all. When he says he's being inundated by calls from deeply paranoid stupid people, I think we can believe him.
Certainly, I can understand these concerns. When leaders within the current administration believe that major threats to the country include those who support the Constitution, are military veterans, or even ‘cling to guns or religion,’ patriotic Americans have reason to be concerned. We have seen people working in this administration use their government positions to persecute people with conservative beliefs in God, country, and notions such as honor and self-reliance. Because of the contempt and antipathy for the true patriots or even Christian saints persecuted for their Christian beliefs, it is no surprise that those who have experienced or noticed such persecution are legitimately suspicious.
TL;DR: Obama scary. Longer version: We have already concocted so many different conspiracy theories about Obama that a group of paint-drinking lunatics claiming Obama will be using the military to round up "patriots" and imprison them in Walmart sounds pretty reasonable at this point.
Once I observed the map depicting ‘hostile,’ ‘permissive,’ and ‘uncertain’ states and locations, I was rather appalled that the hostile areas amazingly have a Republican majority, ‘cling to their guns and religion,’ and believe in the sanctity of the United States Constitution. When the federal government begins, even in practice, games or exercises, to consider any U.S. city or state in 'hostile' control and trying to retake it, the message becomes extremely calloused and suspicious.
While godforsaken desert hellholes do tend to skew conservative all over the world, can't imagine why, I'm going to guess it's a coincidence. That said, one of the points of conducting such training exercises is that in a real conflict troops will probably be working in "hostile" or "uncertain" territory, and so the pretended-at map of the exercise ground probably has to mark out at least some area as "hostile" or it wouldn't be much of a war game, now would it. An exercise in which all areas are labeled "super-friendly" or "puppy playdate center" would be grand if the sitting president wanted to invade Lollipop Mountain, but as of now most such conflicts take place in blisteringly hot desert hellholes with poor infrastructure, heavily armed roving gangs of authority-defying nutjobs, and led by hostile theocratic regimes that think the American president might be the devil. If some group of military leaders considers all that and thinks "Texas?" you have only yourselves to blame.
But wait, there's more below the fold.
Such labeling by a government that is normally not allowed to use military force against its own citizens [...]
They are not using force against their own citizens, you raging imbecile. They are conducting a training exercise. Their guns won't even have actual bullets in them, which means the biggest danger in all of this is that one of the Navy SEALs will be accidentally shot by one of a near-infinite number of Texas yokels who see camouflage pants and promptly wet themselves and empties all 12 of his guns.
I can see where we're going with this, though. The "most conservative" states are wilting flowers that cannot stand even a training exercise that calls them bad names on a map, and so the demand will be that the government restructure the entire training exercise so that the most "conservative" states are labeled Awesome, and only bad liberal states are declared "hostile."
[...] is an affront to the residents of that particular state considered as 'hostile,' as if the government is trying to provoke a fight with them. The map of the exercise needs to change, the names on the map need to change, and the tone of the exercise needs to be completely revamped so the federal government is not intentionally practicing war against its own states.”
Saw that coming a mile off.
So there's the America's Dumbest Congressman take on things. I'm glad he piped up with that, because his absence in this particular dumbest-thing-anyone-anywhere-ever-said was getting a bit conspicuous.