This is not the piece I planned on posting. I had finished another diary for the fundraiser for our own BF Skinner earlier today. But that was before I got some news this afternoon. I'll get to that shortly but first and most importantly - BF.
As many of you know, he has been going through living hell with one health issue after another, one complication after another.
The health care nightmare comprised of lupus, epilepsy, Crohn's Disease - mixed with a heart attack, multiple seizures issues, and nasty drug interactions - has taken a huge toll physically, mentally, and financially.
He can't keep going like this. He just can't.
Due to these health conditions and depression I am unable to work and am in a catch-22 as the bills keep mounting and my savings is rapidly dwindling to nothing.
I am at wits end, and without the aid and assistance of friends I would not have lasted as long as I have. But now my funds are so low it has gotten to the point of not having enough money for the basic necessitiies. I am in a catch-22, I am seeking disability and I cannot work, so I cannot get an income, yet without an income until I, hopefully get approved from disability, I cannot survive.
Over the last few days and weeks, JekyllnHyde, 2thanks, elenacarlena, peregrine kate, JoanMar, Puddytat, blue jersey mom, Patriot Daily News Clearing House, OPOL, ericlewis0, VL Baker, and all of you have been making magic happen.
In twenty-four days, $3,390 has been raised. That's truly wonderful, but we need to grow the magic a little more in order to ease the strain that BF has been carrying for far too long.
Since JekyllnHyde wrote his wonderful diary last Saturday, A Joint Appeal to Daily Kos: "The Need is Great, the Wait Seems Endless, the Misery Compounds" (#3), BF has been back in the emergency room. The medications he is on were not playing nicely together. Not at all. Fortunately the doctors caught the problem before it became more serious. Unfortunately, BF is, yet again, going to need more doctor visits, more blood tests and more medical bills in order to get the dosages right.
Because of this, we have decided to increase the amount we're hoping to raise for BF to $4,500. Frankly, I would love to have us go over that amount. A financial cushion would allow him to focus on his health and healing, while giving us the knowledge that our beloved sweet spirit has some much needed peace of mind.
I know how great hearted this amazing community is. I also know what it's like to have hope disappear. I know how isolating and exhausting it can be to fight for your life. Far too many of us do, including people I love.
Which brings me to the news I received early this afternoon. My niece is going in for a hysterectomy. My brother, my brave, wonderful brother who has already beaten back Hodgkin's Disease is now dealing with prostrate cancer at the age of 55.
I've watched my son have to deal with life threatening health issues since he was a baby almost forty years ago. My PTSD disabled Viet Vet has been fighting his own battles, including Prostate cancer. My much loved sister has a neuro muscular disease that has robbed her of the ability to walk while continuing to eat away at her body, bit by bit.
And now this. Now, my brother is fighting cancer again. The PSA count came in at 4.9 and that is not good. Now my niece is in constant pain that the hysterectomy won't fix.
I can't do what matters most for any of them. Not the one damn thing I'd give my soul for, for the people I love so much. I can't heal them. I can't give them freedom from pain, fear, and suffering. And it is maddening. I want to wrap my hands around what ever causes such things and rip it to shreds. I want to go out and throw rocks at the barn and howl down the moon. For them, for our own BF Skinner, for all of us who have had to struggle through dark waters.
But I can't.
What I can do is love them. What I can do is let them know they are not alone. What I can do is be there, no matter what.
What I can do is write a diary for BF Skinner asking us all to come together to let him know that he is not alone. That is what we are doing here. That is what this community always does for one of our own.
I really, really, need you to do it today.
I need to have us pass that goal on BF's GoFundMe page and keep on going.
I need to know that together we have made a difference, eased a heart, helped heal a spirit, made a safe harbor for someone who has been storm tossed for far too long.
Because a storm is pounding in my heart right now. I'm frightened for my brother. I'm worried for my niece and her mom, my sister. I'm hoping my son makes it through the latest treatment. I'm waiting to see if the SO will need further treatment for the cancer we had once thought eliminated. I want sanctuary for them. I want sanctuary for our own BF Skinner.
I need you to make a safe harbor for BF, a soft place to land after yet another trip to the emergency room or stay in the hospital. That's what your donations will create.
You're all my touchstones now, my talismans of hope for BF and all the people I love.
You are BF's touchstones, making hope real again.
What you create for one, you create for all, for you are life savers, spirit menders, heart healers. I have seen it time and time again.
That is why we have come together to create a safe harbor for our music lover, our pop culture aficionado, our sweet spirit, our BF Skinner.
Thanks to all of you, we'll bring him home to that harbor where he can find sanctuary once again, a place to breathe easy, find his strength and heal, knowing he is not alone.
How You Can Help BFSkinner
- Contribute through BFSkinner's GoFundMe page. Remember, every little bit helps and adds up in a hurry.
- Donate via PayPal: houstonbfskinner at netscape dot net is BF's PayPal address. Go to PayPal.com. Click Send Money to Family and Friends. Enter BF's email address and amount you are sending. The sender's name is visible to the recipient.
- BFSkinner's Amazon Wish List.
- If you would like to send a paper check or money order through the US Mail, please send a Kosmail to BFSkinner to get his mailing address.
- You can also help by recommending the diary, offer encouraging comments, republishing to your Daily Kos groups, linking to your Facebook pages, and helping to spread the word through Twitter.
Thank you for your caring and for your donations. Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Thank you for helping so many of us through difficult times. Whether you realized it or not, you have done just that and continue to do so. Together, we do make magic happen.
Since BF and so many of us love sharing music, I thought we would enjoy spinning a few tunes while the donations roll in. Let the music play, lifting BF's spirits and our own. It is more than allowed. Blessings and deepest thanks to you, always.
3:00 PM PT: Update: You leave my heart torn between delight and tears of thankfulness. Look at what you are doing for BF!
We have raised almost a thousand dollars since the diary was posted and shared. Donations are now up to - $4,250! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
3:39 PM PT: Update: $4,465! Don't stop now! This is wonderful!
4:08 PM PT: Update: $4,620! Please don't stop. I want BF to have the cushion he so badly needs. His health issues are so precarious. Don't stop believing, ok? We are making magic happen.
4:27 PM PT: Update: $4,700!! We're going to make it to $5000. I know we are because all of you are the absolute best. Yay!!
6:03 PM PT: Update: Remember that line from "Twister?" We're almost there, we're almost there! Well, we are! $4,800! I'm not seeing cows. I'm seeing us make it to $5000! Ya Hoo!
7:21 PM PT: Update: $4,850! We're so close!
8:13 PM PT: Update: $4,885! So close! We're knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door.
8:31 PM PT: Update: Oh wow!! Look at this! $4,960! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Only $40 more to hit $5000! Yay!
9:04 PM PT: Update: You did it!! We made it to $5000 and then some. Look at this - $5,210!! Isn't that beautiful? For the first time in weeks, if not months, BFS can rest a little easier, and it is all because of your caring, generous hearts. There are not words enough to express how thankful I am for all of you. Love and Blessings always, to you and yours. ps. If you want to keep going with more donations, that's absolutely fine. The more of a cushion BFS has, the better. :)
Fri Jul 17, 2015 at 6:46 AM PT: Update: You are amazing. Simply amazing. What a glorious way to start the day. $5,335