The more I watch the Donald perform his gig on air, the more I am convinced that he is a deliberately concocted, deliberately sold, and deliberately distracting plant.
What better way to seek the result you actually want?
First, you drive some of the nuts into distraction. Hucksterbee is going ever more to the Reich side, trying to find even his 15 seconds of fame, much less 15 minutes.
Rubio is both too inexperienced and too dumb to matter. Perhaps with the right seasoning, more pepper than salt, some onion, oregano, cilantro (oops, it is all being recalled because of "Sam and Ella's" new flavoring) and perhaps a tad of garlic, Rubio can develop into a W Clone, saying stupid shit, but having the balls, the unmitigated arrogance, and stage presence to win despite multiple personal shortcomings.
Rick Perry? The best two things he has going for him are his new spectacles, and the knowledge that he is easily twice as smart as the man who replaced him. But NOT a serious candidate.
Christ Chrissie? If his shenanigans of the past didn't fuck his career forever, the fall out from his despicable Tunnel cancellation decision make his prospects, especially in the heavily populated NE of the country impossible.
Squat Walker? I suspect that even his sugar daddies, or uncles, if your prefer, realize that he is seriously damaged goods, and no amount of their ill gotten gains can fix it all.
That leaves T-Rump and JeBushBush.
What a brilliant move, knowing that all you have to do is stay back in the pack, gather more millions, exude confidence, and wait until the Donald self-immolates or quits, or more likely fires himself because he realizes that his campaign resembles a floating turd in an un-flushed toilet far more than a presidential caliber candidate. The added bonus is with a hothead like The Donald, he will be taking aim at Hilary, with often accurate and painful aim. In fact, his attacks on Hilary might even be supported by leaks to Team Donald in secret.
So as The Donald starts eroding the invincible aura that she tried for years to create, who is the winner? JeBushBush.
There might be token resistance by the most obvious GOP leaders, like the RNC, the RCCC, the RSCC, and their best traitorous friend, Debbie Whatshername Schultz who ACTUALLY SUPPORTS Florida GOP candidates over Democrats.
Yes, I can fully believe that Donald Trump is a plant.
From the Church of Ineffable Stupidity, let's talk agriculture:
So, what sort of plant is the Donald?
My top bet is with the species ARECACEAE
This botanical family of perennial shrubs and trees more commonly known as palm trees. They have flowering seasons, from routinely, to as much as 100 years between flowers. Like the Donald, the vast majority are restricted to tropical, subtropical, and warm temperate climates. And just like Donald's hair, most palms are distinguished by their large, compound, evergreen fronds arranged at the top of an unbranched stem. As well as being morphologically diverse, palms inhabit nearly every type of habitat within their range, from rainforests to deserts, again like the Donald. Although he is selling his $21 million condo in NYC.
The next bet would be ROSACAEA
This botanical family is more commonly known as roses. They form a group of plants that can be erect shrubs, climbing or trailing with stems that are often armed with sharp prickles. Flowers vary in size and shape and are usually large and showy, in colours ranging from white through yellows and reds. In fact, grasping a Donald is no easier than grasping a thorny rose. Both will bite back. The problem is that while both roses and the Donald are superb at attracting attention, even at a distance, a rose uses its color, aroma, and natural beauty to grab your attention, while the Donald uses inane attacks, lies, deceit and more than anything, he relies on human nature to be attracted to a coming train wreck.
The last potential possibility would be PINACAEA
This botanical family includes the plants that we know as Pines. Woody, with an incredible variety of cone, leaf and seed characteristics, varieties can do as well in a blazing desert like Las Vegas as an ocean front area like the Jersey shore. Various species can survive in both temperate and subtropical regions of, where they are grown as timber or cultivated as ornamental plants in parks and gardens. Like the Donald too many of the introduced species have become invasive and threaten native ecosystems. Also like the Donald, the vast majority of Pines are notoriously thin skinned, somewhat sappy, and when exposed to too much heat, they can literally explode in flame.