dis iz rex bob jonsinz dawg. bob iz uway on vaykayshin so i get da hows ta myself. da dawg wawkur cumz too tymz a day ta wawk mee an feed me dat crappee dawg foot mayd in chynu wit poyzin so i haf ben ordurink sewshee on bobz kredit kart. sins bob iz gawn i get ta yewz da cumpewtur az much az i wont.
i red koazs diuree da udder day bowt peepul on heer not lykin klintin. too bad koaz! doan lyk it? sell yer syt to sum big korprayshin an moof to yer plays in da swiss alps! den yoo kin ryd yer byk in da mowntinz efree day an kownt yer munnee!
i doan no hoo iz good fer preznint dis yeer. i do no dat a lot uf peepil heer lyk sandurz. he haz hare lyk myn kyn uv awl fuzzee. moar peepil heer lyk sandurz den lyk klintin. datz da way it iz. so koaz iz a kry baybee bowt dat! boo hoo koaz! kry lyk da baybeez do! yew too arm ondo! an da res uv yoo too! boo hoo! too bat!
ennyway i em goin ta tayk a nap now on da goot sofu. bob neffur letz me get on dat wen heez heer. an i em goin ta lik my self down dair bekuzz i kan.
by fer now awl uv yew peepil heer at daylee koaz. bob wil be bak nest week so den i wil not be gettin on da cumpewtur az much. heez kynda stewpit too lyk koaz an arm ondo.