I've been keeping a loose eye on the whole Ashley Madison debacle, but just a casual one, reading the occasional article or watching it on t.v. news, I haven't done any actual research or scoped the place out or anything. But there was something I saw in a report when I was putting together my diary on randy Josh Duggar, almost a throwaway line, but it got me thinking that Ashley Madison may have a much larger problem than just their blown privacy policy and legal liabilities.
The actual quote is from a very spot on piece in the New Yorker from a couple of days ago. The phrase that just started nagging and nagging at me was in this quote;
He’d spent almost a thousand dollars on two different accounts between February, 2013, and May, 2015, including an “affair guarantee” fee of two hundred and fifty dollars.
Catch the part that got my whiskers twitching?
including an “affair guarantee” fee of two hundred and fifty dollars. How the hell can a "dating site" guarantee a hookup ending with a roll in the hay? They don't know me. For all they know, I could be 325 lbs (which I am), have the personality of Gilbert Gottfried (which I do), and be so unattractive that women turn
into frogs if I'm kissed (which I'm fortunately not). But they're flat out stating that $250.00 guarantees I'm gonna get lucky, you bet!
Follow me below the fold for pure speculation based on logical assumptions and deduction.
Welcome back. At this point I'm wondering if the minds of any of my intrepid readers are wandering down the same garden path that mine has. I will be straight up, I refuse to go to the Ashley Madison website, so I have not perused the $250.00 affair guarantee clause. But according to a story on ethicsalarms.com, this post is prominent on the Ashley Madison main page;
“Ashley Madison is the most famous name in infidelity and married dating,” the site asserts on its homepage. “Have an Affair today on Ashley Madison. Thousands of cheating wives and cheating husbands signup everyday looking for an affair…. With Our affair guarantee package we guarantee you will find the perfect affair partner.”
Again, how? I don't care how large your member database is, how do you "guarantee" a dream hookup? This isn't a car buying site. Even if two people
do end up meeting, how do you guarantee that the woman won't like what she sees or hears and backs out? The program is "guaranteeing" a sexual encounter.
I've been idly chewing on this for the last couple of days, simply because at least to me, it's a fascinating mental exercise. And the only sensible scenario I can come up with is that if nothing else, that $250.00 will buy you an affair. Again, this is pure speculation, and I am in no way implying that this is what Ashley Madison is doing, I just can't find another way to explain how they can "guarantee" an outcome that so heavily depends on feelings and desires at that moment of decision.
If in fact that speculation was in fact the case, it's pretty much illegal outside of NV. And if interstate phone and computer connections were used, it's a federal beef.
That's my real interest in the whole Ashley Madison mess, I couldn't care less about the individuals involved, that's between them and their spouses and partners, I got no skin in that game and couldn't care less how it comes out. But exactly how Ashley Madison was able to guarantee a sexual encounter for $250.00, when the mechanics are so personal and emotional, that interests me. Hell, if their site was such hot shit, with soooo many members, why not just guarantee everybody a hookup within a certain amount of time, or at least some of their money back?
Thanks as always for stopping in and reading, and please feel free to comment, I'd LOVE to hear someone come up with a simple, clean solution that makes me look like a total moron.