One might almost feel sorry for Senate majority leader Sen. Mitch McTurtle, if not for the fact that he's such a slippery, unprincipled, mendacious jackass. McTurtle is desperately trying to head-off another government shutdown because, unlike his Party of Stupid, he understands that another shutdown makes his already hated party even more despised.
But trying to get his Caucus of Cretins to toe the line is like herding cats, except cats are beautiful, engaging and lovable, unlike the GOP. Hell, would you adopt one of those assholes?
And leading the Charge of The Lightweight Brigade once again is the Senator from the great state of Canada, Raphael Cruz, who is also contending for the GOP's 2016 nomination. Sadly for Havana Ted, being universally despised is rarely a formula for electoral success.
And while Sen. McTurtle and the handful of more pragmatic GOP movers and shakers view the increasingly erratic stylings of Cruz and cadre of crackpots with alarm, there's one Senator who welcomes them. I'm speaking of my favorite Senator and yours: Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA).
Sen. Warren was speaking in Austin, Texas, The Texas Tribune reports:
"We will not let Ted Cruz shut down this government over Planned Parenthood! He wants a fight over Planned Parenthood? My answer is, ‘Bring it on, Ted!’" Warren, a Massachusetts Democrat, said during a speech in Austin, drawing loud applause.
Of course, we've been here before. Remember this?
God, I love Elizabeth Warren and how I wish she were running in 2016.
After hitting Cruz, Warren went on to take a shot at another GOP presidential candidate: Donald Trump, the real estate mogul whose inflammatory comments on illegal immigration have roiled the 2016 race.
"No matter what Donald Trump says, we believe that immigration makes this country strong," Warren said.
Bless you, Sen. Warren. Bring it on, Ted.
Sen. Warren will hand you your fat head on a plate.