It Happened One Night
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So, just what is Romantic?
It varies so much from person to person, and from culture to culture. One of those “you know it when you see it” concepts.
For me, one of the most Romantic things is the unexpected gesture – when my then-Significant Other proposed on the roof of the Griffith Park Observatory at sunset, then pulled a single rose, a split of champagne and two flute glasses out of the briefcase he was mysteriously carrying. He had only told me I should get dressed up because we were going somewhere special, so I was caught by surprise.
But it doesn’t have to be big – I’ll send him an email at work signed with XOXOXOXOXs when I see a news story about something funny, or about a new archeological or astronomical find or just because I’m thinking about him. He sometimes brings me flowers when he shops at Trader Joe’s on the way home because “they reminded me of you.”
We used to have regular dates to go to the movies on Fridays, but these past few years there have been very few movies coming out that we've wanted to see.
How many men in their 50s or 60s romancing women in their 20s can you watch before it seems kinda tawdry and creepy? I mean, when he asks,”Where were you when they landed on the moon?” and she says, “My parents hadn’t even met yet,” shouldn’t it make both of them reassess the “relationship?”
1985’s Creator was an exception because of the unique characters – she recognized that he was the one man who was both smart and wacky enough to “get” her, so she single-mindedly pursued him. Peter O’Toole’s Harry and Mariel Hemingway’s Meli were classic adversarial lovers who came together in the end.
And how many alien invasions, lurking axe-murderers, gang wars, car chases, explosions and shoot-‘em-up movies, all with plots that depend on the unending stupidity of the paper-thin characters, do you need to see? Personally, I’ve pretty much reached my limit.
Sorry you He-Man-type Guys, you can trash-talk “Chick Flicks” all you want, but if you don’t at least have one secret favorite Romantic movie, then your chances of having a lasting relationship with an actual Female-type Human Being go way down.
Discovering if you want to spend time getting to know someone isn’t easy – I feel so lucky I found my Someone before the age of online dating. Going to the movies together and talking about it afterwards used to be a good way to find out more about the other person without either of you having to bare your souls. Some of my very best first dates – and some of the all-time worst – were at the movies.
On a different day, this list would probably be a little different, but here’s a month’s worth of my favorite Romantic movies in chronological order:
Too bad the ending is ALL WRONG!
1. It Happened One Night (1934)
2. My Man Godfrey (1936)
3. The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)
4. Pride and Prejudice (1940)
5. Rebecca (1940)
6. Casablanca (1942)
7. Now Voyager (1942)
8. Random Harvest (1942)
9. Laura (1944)
10. To Have and Have Not (1944)
11. The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (1947)
12. The African Queen (1951)
13. Scaramouche (1952)
14. Spartacus (1960)
15. How to Steal a Million (1966)
16. Zeffirelli’s Romeo and Juliet (1968)
17. Somewhere in Time (1980)
18. Romancing the Stone (1984)
19. A Room With a View (1985)
20. Witness (1985)
21. The Princess Bride (1987)
22. Bull Durham (1988)
23. Truly, Madly Deeply (1990)
24. Enchanted April (1991)
25. Much Ado About Nothing (1993)
26. While You Were Sleeping (1995)
27. Bed of Roses (1996)
28. Shall We Dance? AKA Shall We Dansu? (1996)
29. Shakespeare in Love (1998)
30. Love Actually (2003)
31. Up (2009)
There were some tough calls –
The Thin Man (1934),
Bringing Up Baby (1938),
The Philadelphia Story (1940),
Sullivan’s Travels (1941),
The Enchanted Cottage (1945),
La Strada (1954),
The Last Starfighter (1984),
Sleepless in Seattle (1993) and
Il Postino (1994) were hard to leave off the list.
Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961) would have made the list, but George Peppard was such a dud he almost ruined the movie for me, and Mickey Rooney was just embarrassing.
Another film that was hard to leave off the list was Murphy’s Romance (1985), which I like because the script doesn’t ignore the age difference, it makes it the main obstacle the characters must overcome, plus Murphy was James Garner at his most charming, while Sally Fields' Emma was certainly no 20-something innocent.
If I had to take three films with me to that desert island (really silly – how would you show them?) I’d most likely take Casablanca, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir and My Man Godfrey. Casablanca is “our” movie, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir is my favorite, and My Man Godfrey because sometimes you just have to laugh, and it’s a surefire funny-fest for me.
The Ghost and Mrs Muir
You’ll probably have noticed – there are no silent films and very few foreign-language films on my list. Words are such an important part of Romance to me that not knowing what the characters are saying usually kills it for me, but there are a few rare performances that transcend words.
Music is also a major key – most of my choices have great film scores. The Bernard Herrmann score for The Ghost and Mrs. Muir is one of his very best, probably because he was writing it while falling in love with a woman named Lucy, which is also Mrs. Muir’s first name. We frequently play it when we’re driving up Pacific Coast Highway – the Sea is like another character in the film, and the music is full of its many moods.
Please ignore the cheesy studio promo - but yes, that is Natalie Wood playing little girl Anna Muir. Listen to this music.
(Thank you Joy of Fishes and Otteray Scribe -- it took both of you to teach me how to embed this!)
By contrast, it was Andrew Powell’s totally wrong electronic rock score for 1985’s medieval tale
Ladyhawke, not its assorted acting styles or the script’s uneven dialogue, which ruined what would otherwise have been a wonderful Romantic movie for me.
And then there’s that unpredictable thing called “chemistry,” which sometimes happens
between the most unlikely characters, like Kevin Kline’s gambler/gunslinger Paden and Linda Hunt’s saloon-keeper Stella in Silverado. Or Joe Pesci's Vinny and Marisa Tomei's Mona Lisa in My Cousin Vinny – THERE'S a woman who knows what's Romantic and what's not!
LORENZO
The moon shines bright: in such a night as this,
When the sweet wind did gently kiss the trees
And they did make no noise, in such a night
Troilus methinks mounted the Troyan walls
And sigh'd his soul toward the Grecian tents,
Where Cressid lay that night.
The Merchant of Venice
JESSICA
In such a night
Did Thisbe fearfully o'ertrip the dew
And saw the lion's shadow ere himself
And ran dismay'd away.
LORENZO
In such a night
Stood Dido with a willow in her hand
Upon the wild sea banks and waft her love
To come again to Carthage.
Sigh – Now THAT'S Romantic.
As usual, Shakespeare has it covered.
So what’s Romantic for you?
And what are your favorite Romantic movies?