Stephen Colbert applied his laser-like focus to the Republican debate on CNBC the other night. In a nutshell?
In some ways it was impressive. It threaded the needle between confusing and boring.
He goes in on CNBC's moderators for asking the self-described
job interview opening question: "What is your biggest weakness?"
Yes. They open with the one question that no one in human history has ever answered honestly. Ever! In fact, when I interviewed for this job I said that my biggest weakness was sometimes I work so hard I forget to cash my paychecks.
However, even with this terrible opening question, Ted Cruz was able to outshine, or as Colbert put it—
But out of all the non-answers the candidates then gave, Ted Cruz's was most least.
If you did watch the Republican debate, Ted Cruz attempted to make an everyman's analogy by saying you might not want to drink with him but you could depend on him to drive you home from the proverbial pub. It was as tortured as that sounds. That led to this new campaign slogan:
GET IN THE CAR!!!!
Colbert goes back in on CNBC and the lack of preparation, the strange digs, and the overall messiness of their presentation. This allows the Republican candidates the opening to attack. But, as most things comic, Donald Trump is the hero. You may remember Trump
acting like a diva negotiating the debate down from three to two hours. Well, with the way these debates play out, Colbert is fully onboard with the Don.
WHOOOOO! Trump! 2016! Donald, you saved us from another hour and a half of that debate. you truly are a great leader and you have earned my vote...as long as you can negotiate your presidency down from four years to—you know two hours feels about right.
Two hours seems about right.
Colbert goes back in on how the candidates were bitching and moaning before the debates and how dressing rooms work.
Watch the whole thing below the fold.