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Like many of you, I tortured myself by watching the most recent Republican debate—although only in part, because after a while I just physically couldn’t go on. I did watch long enough to catch the drama between competing halfwits Ted Cruz and Donald Trump, when Cruz tried to claim that Trump holds “New York values”—because New York equals marriage equality and abortion and lattes equals bad, or something. The exchange reached peak cringeworthiness when Cruz himself applauded Trump’s response invoking New Yorkers’ response to 9/11.
Yet another reason to abhor Ted Cruz—I really, really hate even coming close to liking anything that comes out of Trump’s mouth. So thanks for that, Ted.
Cruz’s comments have since rightfully drawn the ire of Democrats as well, including Hillary Clinton, Bill de Blasio, and Andrew Cuomo, in addition to demands for an apology. And then, of course, there was this priceless New York Daily News cover:
And so Cruz has finally “apologized.” Republicans, generally speaking, are very good at the art of the nonpology. Unsurpassed, I would say. And Cruz “apologized” in exactly the way you would expect from this slimy, smirking goblin.
A fuller version of the “apology”:
I apologize to the millions of New Yorkers who have been abandoned by liberal politicians. I apologize for the working men and women of New York who are denied jobs — jobs that have been plentiful just south of Pennsylvania — because Gov. Cuomo bans fracking. I apologize to all the pro-life, pro-marriage, pro-Second Amendment New Yorkers who Gov. Cuomo brazenly told have no place in the state of New York because that’s not who New Yorkers are.
I apologize to all of the African American children who Mayor de Blasio tried to throw out of their charter schools that were providing a life line to the American dream. And I apologize to all the cops and firefighters and 9/11 heroes who had no choice but to stand and turn their backs on Mayor de Blasio because Mayor de Blasio over and over again stands with the looters and criminals rather than the brave men and women of blue.
Hmmm, let’s see...evil liberals, fracking, abortion, gay marriage, guns, charter schools, Black Lives Matter...did he leave anything out? Nope, I think that’s just about the whole right-wing kitchen sink. Great job, Ted. A model Republican “apology” truly taken to the next level. Perhaps the most comprehensive and dickish I’ve ever seen.
More:
He went on to pledge that “help is on the way,” even for New Yorkers, in the upcoming election, suggesting that he would reverse policies that “don’t help the working men and women of this country but instead further the elite liberal views that have taken this country down a path that is not working.”
Yeah...I’ve got to side with Lady Liberty. And I don’t often agree with Rep. Peter King, but I have to cosign his recommendation to Cruz:
Go back under a rock.
Top Comments (January 16, 2016):
From ZenTrainer:
I had to read this comment by BlackSheep1 from Glen The Plumber’s Saturday Morning Home Repair Blog twice, but when I did I couldn't stop laughing. (I'm still laughing!) “The drains don’t.”
From elenacarlena:
I'd like to recommend this comment in Hesiod’s diary, where Kingsmeg of Canada explains how health care is supposed to work and why Bernie has it right.
From BeninSC:
I am submitting this comment from mstep, in Laura Clawson's terrific and important diary about GOP initiatives aimed at privatizing air traffic control (TERRIBLE idea).
And I really loved this ULTRA-SHORT comment from Tara the Antisocial Social Worker to Glen The Plumber in last night's TC diary! Hilarious!
(I am including Glen's comment for critical context!)
From foresterbob:
The Republican Party does so many things so badly that I often struggle to sum them up. This comment by Captain Frobgert does it well. It appeared in xanar's post Amazing Exchange at NPR - The GOP Unraveling Is Starting to be Acknowledged!
Top Mojo (January 15, 2016):
Top Pictures (January 15, 2016):