In the “New Rules” segment that ended his weekly “Real Time with Bill Maher” HBO show on March 11, Maher finished the run of visual/verbal jokes with a bit entitled “Capes of Wrath.” The image on the screen to Maher’s left featured the two title characters in “Batman vs. Superman: The Dawn of Justice,” a Warner Brothers/DC Comics movie due in theaters beginning on March 24:
Batman and Superman have to explain something to me: why are you two fighting? You’re supposed to work together. I saw it on my footie pajamas. It’s unsettling to see two beloved mythical figures go at it: It’s like watching Jesus beating up a unicorn.
And I think the same thing when I see the Democrats these days (image appears of Bernie and Hillary on a debate stage): You two also need to work together so you can stop the greatest super villain of all time: (image of Donald Trump as “Incredible Hulk” appears on screen) Orange Crush.
As fans of Maher’s show know, the funny man’s bits can bite. This one did, near my neck of the woods. (Full disclosure: I am supporting Bernie Sanders with monthly contributions and my vote in California’s June primary and in November’s general election, if Bernie becomes the Democratic Party presidential nominee. Although I believe that Hillary Clinton is as bought and paid for by America’s ruling elites as every Republican Party presidential candidate who has walked the face of the earth since who knows when—and as President Barack Obama is, for whom I voted twice for president—I know that Hillary Clinton is not the devil. That is why I have not dived into the pool of Bernie vs. Hillary antagonism in which so much of left/liberal communication wallows these days.)
More from Maher:
Now it was an exciting week for us left-leaners because with the win in Michigan, the Sanders campaign, (stopped by applause)—which I have been saying is offering America a new kind of deal—has shown that Americans are still considering that deal.
(Image on screen is of what could be an Instagram image of a standing Bernie, with the text #BERNIEORBUST above him and REVOLT AGAINST PLUTOCRACY below.) But I feel I should say something about a growing movement called “Bernie or Bust,” where Bernie supporters pledge, If it’s Hillary, they’ll stay home, or vote for the Green Party. On their website they say, they’re revolting against the plutocracy. No, actually you’ll be helping to elect a plutocrat who is revolting.
Those last two lines of Maher’s is the crux of his argument, and they bear repeating: They say they’re revolting against the plutocracy. No, actually you’ll be helping to elect a plutocrat who is revolting.
I, too, have a history of principled “My way or the highway” decisions: In the 1980 presidential election, I believed that there was essentially no difference between Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan. As President Reagan’s fascistic domestic and foreign policies made clear—the latter exemplified by his Central American wars and Iran-Contra Affair scandal—I was wrong. And in 2000 and 2004, I voted for Ralph Nader to be president. Those like me who voted for Ralph Nader in 2000 may well have helped to hand the presidency to George W. Bush, as much as I hate to acknowledge the possibility. But what Bill Maher is analyzing here is “friendly fire”—the type of friendly fire that could lead to a President Donald Trump.
Back to Maher:
Elizabeth Warren recently disappointed Bernie’s supporters by staying neutral in the primary fight—no endorsement for either one. So thousands of Sanders fans hijacked her Facebook page and said things like “I’m disgusted by you. Why not just throw the whole country under the bus? (It must be) Karl Rove’s money?” And those were the early comments before the Red Bull kicked in.
Really? Elizabeth Warren is the enemy now? She’s helped more Millennials than Adderall.
And the Hillary camp does it too. In a race where no Republican candidate supports a woman’s right to choose, and one of them calls women “bimbos” and “pigs,” you know who the real sexist is? Bernie. Bill Clinton accused his supporters of online sexism, which is pretty rich coming from a guy who’s been known to grab your tits in person.
So while Bernie fans attack Hillary for not being liberal enough, and Hillary fans attack Bernie for not being feminist enough, Black Lives Matter is attacking both of them for not being black enough, even though they both have a 100% voting rating from the NAACP—as opposed to Trump who gets five stars from the KKK.
Yes, I know: Many of you may be experiencing outrage upon reading what is a highly sensible observation. One of the purposes of this exercise is to realize in which direction such outrage is best directed. Allow Bill Maher to press his point.
There are real enemies out there: Have you seen a Republican debate? The zombies are in the mall.
I’m telling you, this is going to be the death of liberals—this nitpicky, intramural attacking of friends for insufficient purity. Compulsively cleaning up a corner of the room that is already quite clean while there are giant piles of shit everywhere else.
Maher then provided examples of such nitpicking.
Last year, social justice worriers swarmed on Matt Damon for saying gay actors should not be defined by their sexuality, which was interpreted as him saying gay actors should stay in the closet. The Daily Beast screamed “Shut Up, Matt Damon.” Washington Post: “Matt Damon has more ‘Damonsplaining’ to do.” And Vox said, “Matt Damon isn’t a terrible person. He’s just ignorant.”
Right. The real obstacle to gays achieving equality is Matt Damon. In fact, he’s such a homophobe he fucked Liberace (an image next to Maher appears on the screen, showing Matt Damon with Michael Douglas in character from the HBO movie “Behind the Candelabra,” which depicts the relationship between closeted gay entertainer Liberace (Douglas) and boyfriend Scott Thorson (Damon).)
Last year, Dolce and Gabbana got their gay tit caught in a liberal wringer when they expressed one conservative view on artificial insemination and this week—oh, they fucked up again! But luckily, the brave virtual vigilantes of the Internet were there to condemn these two evil old queens for—get this crime—selling a shoe they’re calling a “Slave Sandal” (Image appears of an incredibly silly-looking sandal with furry pom poms and other such horrors, the price tag for which I am sure runs in the low-to-mid three figures.) (Maher gasps in mock horror.)
I get what many of you must be thinking: What, are we supposed to say NOTHING whenever somebody says something we don’t like? No, of course not: Say what you will, but realize that your take on the message that somebody else is saying—especially a long time friend of the liberal cause, such as Damon—is not necessarily what they are intending to say.
The final paragraph of Maher’s lesson starts with an outrageously provocative comment, but please understand the context of the photo of the silly shoe being shown on screen.
But look at it—it’s a happy slave sandal. Now clearly, they should update the name and call it an “Intern Sandal.” But in this month, when we found out that 20 percent of Trump voters believe that the end of slavery itself was a bad idea (image appears of a Time magazine Feb. 24 article: “Nearly 20% of Trump Fans Think Freeing the Slaves Was a Bad Idea”), this is what motivates you to write a scathing blog post—a thoughtlessly named shoe? Well, hold onto your hats, guys, because right now, I’m wearing—black loafers (screams in horror).
Obviously, Bill Maher is an equal opportunity offender. On paper, his humor can seem rude just for the sake of being rude. But Bill Maher’s point in this monologue is really self-obvious: Bernie fans, Hillary fans, check your outrage toward each other for the rest of Nightmare 2016—there are much, much bigger fish to fry.