In honor of his invitation to the Vatican next week, and to help us lighten up a bit, a classic Jewish joke about a meeting between the Pope and a rabbi. Bernie is not a rabbi, but he did play one in a rom-com from 1999, so I think it’s fair game.
Centuries ago, the pope decreed that Jews in Italy had to convert or leave. There was an outcry from the Jewish community, so the pope offered a deal: He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy. If the pope won, they would have to convert or leave.
The Jewish people picked an aged, wise rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a ‘silent’ debate.
On the chosen day the pope and rabbi sat opposite each other.
The pope raised three fingers. The rabbi looked back and raised one finger.
Next, the pope waved his finger around his head. The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.
The pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine. The rabbi pulled out an apple.
With that the pope stood and declared that he was beaten. The rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay.
Later the cardinals met with the pope and asked him what had happened.
The pope said, “First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs. Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and water, to show that God absolves us of all our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He had beaten me at every move and I could not continue.”
Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he had won.
“I haven’t a clue,” said the rabbi. “First, he said to me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger. Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I said to him that we were staying right here.”
“And then what?” asked a woman.
“Who knows?” said the Rabbi. “He took out his lunch, so I took out mine.”
A little historic background: the position of Jewish communities in medieval Christian Europe was often very precarious. The threat of anti-Semitic violence was ever-present. Jewish religious leaders were at time summoned by Catholic clergy for religious disputations, which were lose-lose situations: If the rabbi lost the debate, he had to convert. If he won, violence or expulsion to his community would result. One way the Jews of Europe dealt with circumstances was through humor.
It is a sign of how far we have come that a secular Jew is invited to the Vatican to speak on issues of social justice that the current Pope is making a priority.
Now, if I could only find my keys...