Scene One (kids):
The evening before Memorial Day, and I’m in the backyard doing some gardening. Across the alley and behind a fence, neighbors are hosting a small gathering of relatives. The adults are sitting around a couple of tables eating, drinking, chatting. Kids are running here and there, a couple of adolescent boys kicking a soccer ball. Every time one of the boys kicks the ball poorly the other boy yells out, laughing, “I’m rejecting your man card!”, or “I’m giving you a lady’s card!”. Repeatedly. Annoying, but given the circumstances I’m not going to do anything more than give the kid a hairy eyeball if he looks my way, which he doesn’t. None of the parents and adults present over there say a word to the boys.
Later that evening, I tell my teenage niece about it. She rolls her eyes. In this day and age.
Scene Two (adults):
Memorial Day morning, I’m in line at the grocery store picking up lemonade, bread, and a few other items. Not the co-op which I prefer, as I need to save some money this month, so instead the cheaper behemoth chain grocery store. A woman cuts me off as I approach the checkout line, but her basket is literally empty, so I don’t really care. Two or three people move in line behind me. The woman in front of me asks for a pack of cigarettes from the very elderly checkout woman (our economy sucks, I hate it) and a twenty-five minute deal ensues. Another employee goes and gets the wrong cigs, eventually returns with the right ones, the customer’s credit cards don’t work, the elderly employee with shaky hands tries to punch the buttons for the customer, and so on.
OK, not in a hurry today, just try and practice mindfulness.
In the meantime, I hear the middle-aged white guy behind me in line seemingly mutter under his breath but with urgency, “Fucking douchebag. Fuck you.” Probably on the phone I figure. But it continues, getting slightly louder. Then I see him give the finger to the next checkout line over, continuing with the “Fuck you you fucking douchebag”. So I look. Guy behind me continues, low voice, but pointed: “You cut off that old lady. You fucking douchebag fucker”. Other, middle-aged, white dude looks back, “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You didn’t see what happened. You got a problem?! Yeah!? You wanna take this outside? I’ll be outside waiting for you!”. I look directly at first guy and then second guy. They’re locked on each other in hatred, anger, self-righteousness. Then second guy comes storming back toward guy behind me. I make sure my shopping cart is placed between me and them in case the fists start flying, though if either of these guys is carrying a gun, all bets are off. A bit of macho back and forth, chest puffing, name-calling, but luckily no violence ensues. Guy number two leaves store.
Ugly versions of masculinity on display. Our social fabric is fragile. Trump is mobilizing the misogyny, hate, xenophobia, violence that are always lurking, and a president Trump would disastrously unleash the beast.