The sounds you hear in the background is the sound of the workers at the Maalox factory getting overtime to fill the latest RNC order. The best two stock purchases I have made in my life were in Maalox and Orville Redenbachers popcorn.
Reince Priebus may not come out of his house until November 9th. It may take longer than that to lure Paul Ryan out of his cabin on Lake Whatever Cute Rustic Name in Wisconsin. Trump has just given them an advance warning that he is about to go totally and completely off the rails again. And it’s gonna get ugly.
It all started innocently enough, with a rally today in Colorado. Yes, Colorado, the place that the Trump campaign is already preparing to slink out of, and that the Democrats are so confident of that they’re pulling their t.v. advertising until further notice. That Colorado. But we all know The Killer ‘Do, he doesn’t care if he can actually win, as long as the cameras are on.
It was typical Donald. He started off by slapping at Hillary, trying to take the shine off of her dominant convention. At some point a bunch of well heeled Trombies started chanting “Lock her up, lock her UP!”. Trump just smirked and shook his head. He said “For weeks now people have been saying that, and I just said “No, let’s beat her on November 8th. *cheers* But the more that I hear that, and every time I mention her name people chant ‘lock her up”, I’m sorry, but I’m starting to agree with you”. *wild applause* But then he had to gild the lily. He followed up with something like “For weeks now I’ve been trying to be nice, but after last night, after all of the lies, I think it’s time that I take the gloves off. *nods to cheering* Yes, time to take the gloves off”. I keep wondering when the hell he ever had them on. He finished this “Godfather” Sonny Corleone outtake with a “just remember folks, Trump? From now on no Mr. Nice Guy!”.
This speech was of course unscripted, but explicit. Mein Furor has fired a shot across the bow of the world that he is about to go off on a free association spleen venting that may make a meteor hitting the earth look like a blessing. The entire establishment GOP, as well as any sane leftover aides and staff on the garbage scow “HMS Donald” must be flooding the servers at Travelocity.com right now, looking to book passage on a slow tramp steamer for Tierra del Fuego. One way, thank you very much. Maybe there’s s “sane” dictator somewhere down there that they can go to work for.
Stay tuned. This may well be a watershed moment. This is normally a placid time in the campaign, from convention to 1st debate, especially with the outside distractions. But here, we have the real possibility that for the first time in our country a political campaign may overshadow the goddamn Summer Olympics! Fortunately, one of the side bennies in being a Redenbacher stockholder is options in free popcorn, so I’m all set. Now if I can just get the 100 gallon underground Miller Genuine Draft tank installed iin time, I’m golden.
Thanks as always for reading!