Donald Trump's Daily Reminder Book, Tuesday, August 2nd
(laptop notebook hacked by the Chinese and released by Hamish MacFhearghail of Aberdeen, Scotland, founder of Trumpcocksplatleaks)
1. Threaten to endorse opponents of Paul Ryan and John McCain in primary. Mimic Ryan. Ryan very unfair to me. Say McCain is bad for vets. He doesn't understand vets. I do vets better than he does vets. Attack Kelly Ayotte. Check.
2. Threaten, if I lose election, to give 10 million dollars to Democrat opponents of Ted Cruz and John Kasich. They very unfair to me. Check.
3. Buy Bronze Star off vet and show it at press conference. Make joke about how I always wanted one of these things. Will shore up vet vote. Check.
4. Make fun of mom supporter with baby and threaten to throw her out of rally. Show my warm side. Babies very unfair to me. Check.
5. Threaten to ban NY Times, Washington Post, and CNN from my press conferences and rallies. They very unfair to me. Check.
6. Have surrogates float rumors about pain in ass Gold Star Muslim guy with the dead kid being a terrorist, maybe ISIS plant, working with Mexicans. He's very unfair to me. Watch Pence try to deal with it. Great fun. Check.
7. Call Obama worst prezident in history. Call him ignorantest prezident too. Muslim. Kenyan. Very unfair to me. Check.
8. Ridicule Harrisburg, capital of Pennsylvania. Say it looks like war zone. Key battleground state. Great laughs. Check.
9. Say if woman sexually harassed, stop whining and get another job. Bring up Ivanka. Check.
10. Tweet photo of me eating KFC chicken, regular guy. Check.
Possible ideas for tomorrow.
a. Attack George Washington. Retreated at Gettysburg. Scared of Brits. Very bad. Loser. Couldn't have children so how father of country?
b. Float story Obama Kenyan father killed JFK. Good one. Will get Irish vote.
c. Call Ivanka and check on lawsuits. How they going? Ask her to dinner. Mel out of town.
d. Make joke about Reince Pribius, maybe suggest he's fag.
e. Photo op on air craft carrier?
f. Check on order of new Trump shirts from Beijing.
g. Unveil new line of Trump Cutlery.
f. Need something big. Fire Manafort? Give nukes to Japan? Maybe attack VFW being very unfair to me. Call Don Jr. and find out what is VFW.
h. Take Colese, need to poop.