From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
All I Need to Know About Life I learned from Star Trek
Wow---today is the 50th anniversary of the premiere of what creator Gene Roddenberry called "Wagon Train to the Stars." Star Trek was regularly beaten in its time slot, and placed 52nd among all series in 1966-’67, its best season. But the issues it took on---war, peace, technology (for good and evil), racism, gender, greed and others, all deftly handled by the writers and cast---still resonate and make the series eminently watchable in 2016. Today’s a good day to review the basics:
• Seek out new life and civilizations.
• Non-interference is the Prime Directive.
• Keep your phaser set on stun.
• Humans are highly illogical.
• There's no such thing as a Vulcan death grip.
• Live long and prosper.
• Having is not so pleasing as wanting; it is not logical but it is often true.
• Infinite diversity in infinite combinations (IDIC).
• Tribbles hate Klingons (and Klingons hate Tribbles).
• Enemies are often invisible -- like Romulans, they can be cloaked.
• Don't put all your ranking officers in one shuttlecraft.
• When your logic fails, trust a hunch.
• Insufficient data does not compute.
• If it can't be fixed, just ask Scotty.
• Even in our own world, sometimes we are aliens.
• When going out into the Universe, remember, "Boldly go where no one has gone before!"
Also: don’t screw around with the transporter---it's not a #!!&%!$! toy.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, September 8, 2016
Note: NFL concussion production season starts today as the Denver Broncos play the Carolina Panthers. I believe that's your cue to start tap dancing with sparklers. Or something.
-
By the Numbers:
Days 'til Rogue One: A Star Wars Story opens: 99
Days 'til the Louisville LGBT Pride Festival: 9
Percent increase in average hourly earnings for U.S. workers over the 12 months ending August 31: 2.4%
Drop in pistachio production in California because of the drought: 50%
Drop in bottled water production in California because of the drought: 0%
Minimum number of for-profit ITT Technical Institute campuses shut down as a result of federal actions due to fraud and mismanagement: 130
Percent chance that Saturday's 5.6-magnitude earthquake in Oklahoma was the strongest one in the state's recorded history: 100%
-
Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
One of the things I know about human nature is that in order to kill strangers face to face---or, God forbid, their children---you have to either be very afraid or convince yourself that your enemy is completely evil, other, non-human.
People seem far more capable of killing other people if they can't see them, which is probably why war has gotten nastier as the technology has gotten better.
We have killed an estimated 12,000-14,000 Iraqis since "mission accomplished" and are bombing Fallujah today. For all I know, in some future I cannot envision, this will turn out to be the right thing to have done. Peace and democracy will flourish in Iraq, and we will all bow down to the great wisdom of Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz. But so far, no good.
According to both opinion polls in Iraq and in the larger Arab world, our invasion of Iraq has increased hatred of the United States and fanned terrorism. Ignorance and condemnation are not a strategy for dealing with that.
---September 2004
-
Puppy Pic of the Day: Click, and make sure the sound is on…
-
CHEERS to the birthday boy. Happy happy happy 75th to Senator Bernie Sanders!
I've been a huge fan since he was a congressman and was thrilled when he graduated to the Senate. I don’t think his influence on the Democratic party during the 2016 primary season can be overstated, and you can feel his leftward pull in both Hillary's presidential roadmap and the current Democratic party platform. So happy birthday, Bernie---in your honor, today I'm going to track down as many "millionehs” and “billionehs" as I can and giving 'em all a nice firm wedgie on your behalf.
CHEERS to blowing this popsicle stand. Exciting day for space exploration! At 7:05 ET (Phone home! Ha Ha Ha!) this evening, NASA's OSIRIS-Rex spacecraft will break free of the bonds of gravity and soar to the mighty heavens on a two-year journey to rendezvous with the 4.5-billion-year-old asteroid Bennu. Here's a preview:
After a year of analysis and exploration, OSIRIS will return to earth in 2023, when it will turn over samples of the asteroid to NASA scientists and then retire to Boca with its spouse the Bissell upright.
CHEERS to poking righty Blogistan in the ribs with a sharp stick. Oh, President Obama…you merry prankster. In a move sure to stoke the conspiracy fires at Breitbart News and World Net Daily, #44 just nominated a lawyer to serve on a U.S. District Court who's…a Muslim! [Lightning flash!] [ka-BOOM!!!]
"I am confident [Abid Riaz Qureshi] will serve the American people with integrity and a steadfast commitment to justice," Obama said.
Muslim-American organizations hailed the historic announcement. "The nomination of Abid Qureshi to fill a seat on the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia sends a message of inclusion that is welcomed by the American Muslim community and by all Americans who value diversity and mutual respect at a time when some seek division and discord," Nihad Awad, national executive director of the Council on American-Islamic Relations, a civil rights group, said in a statement.
While Muslim Americans have filled roles as state judges, none have served at the federal trial or appellate levels, according to Muslim Advocates, a national legal advocacy organization.
Now all that needs to happen is for Senate Republicans to hold hearings and confirm him, which should happen sometime after Matt Lauer practices actual journalism and the Arctic ice caps return to normal.
JEERS to the emperor's new plan. Ever since he started running for president, Donald Trump has been talking up his plan for defeating ISIS. But---Shhhhh!---it's a secret. His words:
"There is a way of beating ISIS so easily, so quickly, so effectively, and it would be so nice…. I know a way that would absolutely give us guaranteed victory.
The problem is then everybody will take the idea, run with it and then people will forget where it came from…. I ran it past two or three people. [It’s] so simple. It’s like the paper clip. You know, somebody came up with the idea of the paper clip and made a lot of money and everybody’s saying, ‘Boy, why didn’t I think of that, that was so simple.’ This is so simple, so surgical, it would be an unbelievable thing.
Now, I’ve been around saying this, you would think somebody from the administration would at least would call me and say, ‘Hey, could you tell us what it is?’ It happens to be a great idea. But at the right time, I guess I’ll give it."
Guess what? Now we know what the plan is, and, yeah, it's definitely simple, quick and easy. Step 1) toss the problem into the lap of his generals and give 'em 30 days to figure out how to end the multi-sectarian civil war and mad grab for power, riches, territory and religious supremacy that have dogged the region for thousands of years. Step 2) ??????? Step 3) Victory! I can't believe no one thought of that sooner.
JEERS to undeserved free passes. Forty-two years ago today, President Ford committed the unpardonable sin of granting an unconditional pardon to Richard "I am not a crook except when I am" Nixon. He said it was absolutely necessary to help "heal" the country. To this day I still have no idea what that means. I don't remember anyone flipping out over the Watergate hearings, do you? Everyone I knew pretty much laughed their asses off. Final verdict on the pardon: bad call. The American people were robbed of the opportunity to see that, when the president does what Tricky Dick did, it IS illegal. Bless the late David Frost for coaxing that jaw-dropping nugget out of that creepy crook.
JEERS to GOP inaction. Over the past few weeks our tea party governor, Paul LePage, left an obscenity-laced message on a Democratic state representative's voicemail, threatened to shoot him "between the eyes," and called on blacks and Hispanics to also be shot after labeling them "the enemy" in the heroin war. It was a meltdown as disturbing as it was public, and now we know what repercussions LePage will suffer as a result: none. Republicans in the legislature nixed a special session and told LePage he was free and clear:
“With the whole world and our country watching, it’s now official and on the record books,” said House Speaker Mark Eves, D-North Berwick. “Elected Republican leaders have failed Maine people.” […]
Only four House Republicans told Eves they wanted to return, while 63 refused to answer his call and two said they would not come back to sanction LePage. In all, 84 members of the House, 80 of them Democrats or independents, said they favored a special session.
“Our Republican colleagues failed even the basic democratic test of being willing to be on the record,” Eves said. “They are unwilling to say ‘yes’ on the need to have an open public discussion on how to move Maine forward. Republicans, by hiding today, are enabling two more years of distraction and dysfunction by Gov. LePage.”
So remember, kids. Republicans just gave you the green light to call anyone you like a "cocksucker" and threaten them with murder. Is this a great state or what?
-
Ten years ago in C&J: September 8, 2006
CHEERS to stingrays. In light of how the creatures will inevitably be demonized after the death of "crocodile hunter" Steve Irwin, Kossack Mark H's Monday diary is worth reviving: "Stingrays are docile. Unbelievably so. ... Deaths by stingrays are exceedingly rare. I've heard figures as low as five known cases in the past century, and all of these being freak events where the barb was somehow inserted into the heart muscle." Well, except the rogue stingray that shot a surfer with a .357 magnum.
-
And just one more…
CHEERS to the sharpest knife in the media’s drawer. Rachel Maddow, who, like Bill Clinton, is a Rhodes Scholar, has been hosting her own show on MSNBC for eight years as of this week. She's brilliant, witty and everybody loves her except those Republicans who fear her. ("Scary fact-wielding lesbian truth-teller! Run for your lives!") She's also an entertaining mixologist who whips up a mean Friday night libation. Money quote: "I'm undoubtedly a liberal, which means that I'm in almost total agreement with the Eisenhower-era Republican party platform." Score one for the hippies.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
-
Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
“I am sick to my stomach. Bill in Portland Maine’s just a horrible human being. He has no soul. He changes opinions hourly.”
---Phil Rosen
-