When the Trump story first broke, I was horrified. I have spent a large part of my adult life concerned with issues of sexual assault and harassment. I noted immediately that: I don’t know these people. Two nights ago, I posted in a facebook comment thread: “I’ve never heard this”. Ten minutes later, I received an email. A reminder email. The reminder was about the Kansas and Missouri state houses, and specifically, the person pictured above, Former Missouri Speaker John Diehl.
Her reference was about conversations in the Missouri capitol building which went a bit too far, and how other legislators had joined in. I immediately felt red in the face. She was right. I had heard this before, and because I considered none of these people my friends, it didn’t leap to my mind.
For Missouri interns, though, the level of sexual harassment they received was enough that they have fought for changes in rules to make sure they can no longer be assaulted.
As I have thought about this today, I was reminded of an incident this spring in the Kansas state house, where it became pretty open knowledge that a retiring Republican was in the middle of an affair, another Republican was facing a bitter divorce over an affair, and moderate Republicans who faced bitter, misogynistic attacks over their statements about the state of the Republican Senate leadership.
In Kansas, this kind of banter in restrooms and in open forums has drifted into the obscene, with legislators referred to in the most crass terms, phrases like “c***” “b****” and worse to define them. These are the kind of things that women legislators are forced to deal with in the state house. Rather than demure away from it, the legislators show up to work, every day, because it is what is expected.
Conservatives today in the media have brought these kind of events up as a way to justify Trump. The reality is, these stories only condemn others. Just because others are wrong with you doesn’t make you any less wrong or morally reprehensible.
I wrote about some of these events here. In the Missouri statehouse, people came forward, and some pressed charges.
This isn’t to say only Republicans have talked in this way; there are certainly some Democratic members everywhere who have as well.
But none of that undoes the important fact: they were wrong. The fact that some do it doesn’t make them right. The fact that they promoted misogyny and terrible imagery about women doesn’t give an excuse to Trump.
It only highlights the fact we have a long way to go before we fix the real problems that we have with sexism in America.
Trump dismissing this as “locker room talk” is an attempt to justify it. To say “hey, this happens, and it’s OK.”
The woman who sent me email reminded me when she walked into sexually charged conversation about her it wasn’t OK.
The most dangerous comment that Trump and his advocates are making isn’t that “other guys do it”, it is that it is “OK” that other guys do it.
It isn’t. It will never be.
Women have been expected to “blow it off” and “be a good sport”. That’s what Trump is asking.
Mike Pence talks about “believing in grace and forgiveness”, but Trump isn’t asking for forgiveness. He’s asking for justification.
And he can’t get that from me.