For those of you that missed the Daily Kos Rec list this morning, fellow Daily Kos user - Barbara Morrill - shared this excellent commentary on Mike Pence’s refusal to directly answer a question inquiring how he would respond to an 11 year old girl suffering from self-esteem issues as a result of hearing Donald Trump’s comments on women’s bodies:
I found her commentary so compelling, and Pence’s brush off so aggrevating, that after years of annoying my facebook followers with long political commentary, I finally took the plunge and decided to give in to the urging by family and friends to post my first ever blog entry. (So please be kind...).
For those who have not yet heard (and with so much scandal in this campaign it sure is hard to keep up with every offensive comment coming out of the Trump campaign), yesterday, Pence’s response to this very serious concern about how Trump’s words negatively impact young girls was to engage in a long diatribe about threats posed by terrorism, lack of law enforcement, and economic conditions. Or, as Ms. Morrill so perfectly put it:
“[D]on’t worry about being fat, little girl, because if your mommy and daddy don’t vote for us, you’ll all be dead anyway."
Honestly, I don’t know if Pence was engaging in the very typical attitude of so many men by completely ignoring (and thus trying to invalidate) the real threat posed to women by the constant influx of pressure to look like the "ideal woman”, or if he was just engaging in the typical avoidance behavior of a politician who is faced with a question to which he/she has no acceptable response, but frankly, I don’t care. It was the final straw in a campaign that has angered and insulted me to my very core, and perhaps reflects why Trump’s callous attitude toward women is the thing that has FINALLY struck a chord amongst those voters who have previously been content to ignore his campain constructed of hate and lies. By refusing to even acknowledge the validity of the 11 year old’s response Pence’s answer was a slap in the face to the millions of women who have cried in front of a mirror or have been embarassed to walk out in public without perfect hair and make-up because we fear the judgment by men like Trump. It ignores the thousands of dollars in make-up, creams, hair dyes and miracle diet programs we feel compelled to buy in persuit of that elusive “ideal” appearance which simply doesn’t exist for most of us. It discounts the exhausting sit-ups, uncomfortable heels, too tight (and short) skirts, painful waxing, and overly-restrictive body-shaping wear most of us have voluntarily endured under the misguided belief that we have to “compete” with other women and fit into a media-created image of sexy if we want to be beautiful enough to attract men and keep them interested. The harm of Trump’s regular comments objectifying women and judging their appearances (as if his own is at all desirable!!!) isn’t simply his disgusting dismissal of the very real and serious matters of engaging in sexual harassment and assault (as if that wasn’t sufficiently disqualifying), it is that it encourages men who follow him to engage in similar objectification, and it gives validity to a fear that nearly every woman in America has had -or will have- at some point in her life.
To be clear, I agree with Pence, terrorism and economic harm are huge issues and whomever is elected will need to deal with these (oh please don’t let Trump near that nuclear button!!!), but so are the large number of suicide and suicide attempts by teenage girls who have developed a low self-image because of teasing about their appearance, and dispair over not being able to live up to our society's standards of what a woman "should" look like. Pence’s reply totally dismisses the trauma the attitude which Trump encourages causes to the thousands of teenage girls and young women who end up suffering from mental illnesses (primarily depression, social anxiety, bulimia, anorexia and body dysmorphia) because they believe men like Trump when they are told that their value is directly linked to their physical appearance. (Hey Pence-study after study has shown that this is a threat to teenage girls and therefore deserves to be addressed!!!) www.sciencedaily.com/... . Pence doesn’t seem to care that such beliefs being spread by powerful men often lead to men believing that they have the right to engage in physical or emotional abuse of their partners, and to women accepting such abuse because they buy into the lie that they are so ugly that they are lucky to find any man to be with them.
Oh, and what about the rest of us? You know, the millions of women Pence and Trump want to govern? The “real people” to whom Trump claims he gives a voice? Most women are not what Trump would consider a "10" (heck-many models and actresses aren't before airbrushing). Trump’s comments about our bodies and about how a woman’s value is predicated on her appearance (not simply her attractiveness to him, but her actual value as a human being!!!) essentially means that most of us have no value (and apparently some of his supporters agree and are actively advocating taking away a women’s right to vote-in 2016! I kid you not!). After all if a 5’8” 19 year old Miss Universe with “perfect" skin, hair, teeth, etc... becomes “enormous” and unattractive when she goes from 118 lbs to 147 lbs, how can the rest of us possibly compete? (The healthy weight range for a 5’7” woman is 121-153 lbs, with women within this range in the US annual averages falling in the mid-high 140s. www.nhlbi.nih.gov… . ). So I guess when Trump talks about being a voice for average people, what he really means is a voice for males and super-models (except of course, for the ones who are immigrants, black, non-Christian, not-disabled, or have Mexican heritage).
Perhaps the reason that Pence completely ignored the question about the impact of Trump's words on an 11 year old girl is that Pence, like Trump, is unable to appreciate the very real dangers posed to the lives of young women when a powerful man tells the country that women who don’t meet his definition of “beautiful" are worthless, and those that do meet the definition should expect to be groped, and should either tolerate being sexualized at work or should leave their jobs. But then again I wouldn't expect him or Trump to get it. These are men who believe women should be forced to undergo further psychological trauma if they have miscarriages, should be treated as criminals if they have abortions, should be denied government help if they find themselves single mothers in financial distress, should not receive paid maternity leave, should be denied access to life saving affordable women's health services, and can legally be denied equal pay and opportunities in the work place. They belong to a group that believes that lack of consent alone isn't sufficient for a "legitimate" rape, and that women who sue for being groped by a boss or subjected to sexual harassment in the workplace are just complaining and trying to get rich quick. Trump has outright stated that successful men "deserve genetically superior sexy women", expressed a married woman can still be hit on, bragged about using his power to walk in on naked teenage beauty contestants, advocated that it is good to "treat women like shit", and argued that men can have more satisfying marriages by being a little "rough" on their wives. Trump has declared that it is okay if a female teacher has sex with an underage student, advocated that a wealthy men accused of rape be allowed to pay a fine rather than do jail time, and continues to socialize with a known pedophile and convicted level 3 sex offender (whom Trump has publicly joked about being a “great guy” and liking beautiful “younger women” — and with whom Trump is currently named as a defendant in a lawsuit claiming the pair engaged in sexual abuse and rape of a 13 year old girl www.dailywire.com/… ).
So, perhaps when Pence reflects on the Republican ticket’s positions on women’s issues, and on Trump’s much more disgusting comments about (and acts toward) women, he (erroneously) believed body and fat shaming women was a minor issue and could be easily overlooked — unless, of course, you are one of those millions of women voters who has personally experienced the effects of being objectified by men. And guess what Pence — we are not overlooking his comments, OR your failure to answer the question.
That 11 year-old girl was hurt by DONALD TRUMP’S OWN WORDS. His own actions. His own positions (when he is not pandering for women’s vote). The comments are not spin or accusations (apparently perpetrated by some all-powerful international evil cartel) being brought up by “horrible” people in order to destroy his candidacy. These are his words, and continue to be his words, and continue to be the message he is broadcasting to women around the world. These are the words our daughters hear and internalize. These are the words that tell our sons how women should be viewed. The harm he is causing is happening now. Not a decade ago. Not before he ran for President. NOW.
For this little girl Donald Trump’s words create a clear and present danger. Not some potential future danger caused by terrorism, or lack of lack of law enforcement, or economic collapse (speaking of which, hey Donnie - we are still waiting on your actual policy proposals that tell us how you you plan to protect us from every possible danger on earth...and this time we would like the ones that experts haven’t said would throw us into a recession, increase terrorism or pose a threat to international relations.). Trump’s words are creating a real and intensely personal danger for this 11 year old that, unless stopped, will likely impact her self-image and mental health long after this campaign is over.
So when the question about the 11 year old girl’s self-image was asked it should never have been brushed aside. Mike Pence and Donald Trump owe an answer to that 11 year old girl, and to every other young girl who is hearing his message about their appearances and value to society. And if they can’t provide a legitimate answer (and no, an insincere apology, lame excuse, and attempt to redirect the focus to the “evil Clintons” is NOT an answer), then when they are forced to concede on November 8th (unlike Trump some of us actually do know the date), I hope they know that women, and those who love women, have taken back the power he has spent a lifetime trying to take away.