Glossophobia
This is the fancy name for fear of public speaking. Surveys about our fears commonly show fear of public speaking at the top of the list. Our fear of standing up in front of a group and talking is so great that we fear it more than death, in surveys at least. Some of the research on why this is appears to show that it evolved from the fear of being ostracized.
When faced with standing up in front of a group, we break into a sweat because we are afraid of rejection. And at a primal level, the fear is so great because we are not merely afraid of being embarrassed, or judged. We are afraid of being rejected from the social group, ostracized and left to defend ourselves all on our own. We fear ostracism still so much today it seems, fearing it more than death, because not so long ago getting kicked out of the group probably really was a death sentence.
Last Sunday I was charged with speaking at our friend Elaine’s memorial service. I was nervous about it and so I wrote out everything I wished to say. A decade ago I had opened the memorial service for Elaine’s husband, where I had every word written down. I was so nervous that time that the words swam before my eyes and I barely got through it. This time I did much better, and even referenced an * on my notes, and told a story extemporaneously. I got a laugh from the audience which was comforting, but I was still so relieved when it was over.
I started thinking of others who do this routinely. Teachers do it every day. Ministers, every week. Politicians seem to thrive on it, though having a Teleprompter would be a cushion to lean on. I have seen Kossacks I know well stand up before very large groups and speak smoothly without notes; amazing.
This fear, of course, extends to any performance in front of a crowd. There are musicians whose anxiety threatens their livelihood, such as Carly Simon. So even though one is comfortable with one’s abilities and knowledge, the fear can manifest.
So I’m interested in the experience of others here. Are any of you comfortable with public speaking? Must you do it in a work capacity? Is it contingent on the size of the group? Does it matter if friends are in the audience? Does comfort in one venue translate to all venues?
Kitchen Table is always an open thread, so your thoughts, comments, and brickbats are welcome. (Maybe not brickbats)
Kitchen Table Kibitzing is a community series for those who wish to share part of the evening around a virtual kitchen table with kossacks who are caring and supportive of one another. So bring your stories, jokes, photos, funny pics, music, and interesting videos, as well as links—including quotations—to diaries, news stories, and books that you think this community would appreciate. Readers may notice that most who post diaries and comments in this series already know one another to some degree, but newcomers should not feel excluded. We welcome guests at our kitchen table, and hope to make some new friends as well.
Please support these Sunday-posting Kitchen Table Kibitzing friends with your recs and social media support!