NOT-SO-RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS…
Ok...have to share with you what just happened to me, it means more than the person may ever know; I was about brought to tears.
First, a little background: For those who do not know, am a 45 year old transgender woman, living in North Carolina...which is arguably one of the meanest places to be trans...politically, anyway. Many people here are kind, our lawmakers are not.
I live in a little town called Lizard Lick. Yes, that is a real place. For those of you who watched Reality TV, you may even have heard of us. Outside of those guys [the reality TV folks], I am possibly this town's best-known citizen...seeing as I am Lizard Lick's one and only transgender citizen.
Anyway, after they passed the hateful HB-2 in North Carolina, I went public in a big way, leading to the "fame" I now "enjoy." It started when I posed with a poster for NC Voter ID (this is my current profile pic by the way) - my point being that my NC Driver's License, which says I am female, and is LEGAL ID ISSUED BY THE STATE...is good enough to VOTE...but not good enough to avoid being harassed in the bathroom! I DO have the birth certificate which I carry on me at all times...but I should not have to. It was legally changed in Illinois, where I was born...two weeks before the hateful law was passed...and thirteen years after my surgery.
Anyway...I had moved to NC in 2014...because I wanted to come to a place where I could just BE the woman I struggled all my life to finally become...in a place where nobody knew my past. For a year and a half, it worked...my neighbors had no clue. Then HB-2 happened...and I had to speak out...I could not allow my transgender sisters and brothers have to make the same horrible choice I did back in 1998...to abandon pursuit of higher education in deference to my own personal safety vis a vis restroom use.
And I ended up all over the news. And my neighbors found out. Some may have suspected, none actually KNEW. They ALL do now. To their credit, they have all been kind.
Part of my speaking out was to get some T-Shirts made custom, just for me, which say Transgender Tarheel™ - this was my "in your face" way of telling everyone that stood against us...that I was a Tarheel...whether they liked it or not! I wear these around town, even around my trailer park.
So, now that the background is there...here comes the not-so-random act of kindness..
A few days ago, I was at a local convenience store, just getting a cup of coffee and a couple items. I was wearing one of my special T-Shirts. And a guy in line went off on me, telling me how Trump was gonna run me out of the country like I deserved...and he was gonna make me be a MAN...or get the hell out. And a whole bunch of other ugly stuff.
Almost in tears, I told this man...the only choice I ever made was to live as the woman I always was...or die by my own hand...as the man everyone else THOUGHT I was. And I chose to LIVE. And for that you hate me. You would rather me be dead than happy...because what makes me happy...makes YOU a tad uncomfortable. Well, excuse me for trying to live and be happy!!
With that, I left the store, in tears, having left all my items I had planned to buy behind.
Today, I ended up at that same store. It is a national chain, not sure I can mention which one...although a certain Kossack already knows what store this was as it is the happening place in oour little town...and this Kossack and I live in the same town.
Anyway....I was about to leave - having made my purchases without incident this time. And the manager came and approached me, and wanted to talk to me. And I thought..."oh, boy here it comes..."
Instead, the manager apologized profusely for what had happened to me the other day, and said they do NOT tolerate that sort of behavior in their store. I was given a few coupons for free stuff...much of which I, as a diabetic, can't actually use, but my mom can.
But what was given to me was SO MUCH MORE than a few free items. What was given to me was a sense that I was wanted, valued, affirmed...even loved...and very welcome there. And even here...in America...in North Carolina...in Lizard Lick.
And for the second time this week...I left that store in tears. This time, the tears were good. There ARE still kind and loving people here. Maybe there is hope. If only my own personal survival were more assured, as employment is always difficult for trans people. I do have a small business, it mostly gets me barely scraping by. I am luckier than most in my position.
And today, I was shown some kindness...it was worth more to me than the person will ever know...because I have no words to express what it meant to me.
I wrote this as soon as I got home from the store...this literally JUST HAPPENED...and I am still in tears as I write. Thank you for listening. Thank you for caring.