As President Obama noted in his final address, when he thanked Michelle for her service as First Lady, she took on a role she didn’t ask for. For eight long years she worked without pay, without relief and without complaining. By all accounts, she served us well. Those who want to criticize are free to do so, after they have walked eight years in her high heels.
Mrs. Obama, when asked about her sources of inspiration, always pointed to the military families she and Dr. Biden were privileged to serve. They knew the deprivations of public life paled in comparison to the daily grind deployments put families through. Watching these unsung heroes get up every day, put there shoes on and keep going without relief, without complaining, without a finish line in sight gave her the strength to face all sorts of difficult situations.
That’s why the First Family is off limits. With the exception of those who CHOOSE to become embroiled in policy issues, First Families didn’t choose their role and it is grueling. Those of us who were not raised by wolves (Anne Coulter, I’m looking at you) know this instinctively. But sometimes we need to be reminded, especially when a new First Family arrives at the White House.
I will confess that I have posted my fair share of nasty tweets regarding Melania Trump since the election. Usually in response to those who tweet nonsense about how “finally” class and style are going to be “restored” to the White House. I have never posted anything about Trump’s youngest child, or even his youngest daughter. We all agree they are not fair game. We are not barbarians (Rush Limbaugh, I’m looking at you).
However, I saw something that shocked me at the Inaugural that has caused me to really reflect on this particular First Family, and the First Lady in particular. It’s the fleeting 8 seconds of video posted below.
I know that look. That is the face of an abused woman. That is the face of a victim. That is the face of a woman trapped under the thumb of a tyrant who has broken her will. Men with far less resources than Trump have achieved that sort of hold over their wives/girl friends/mothers. Men with far less resources than Trump have abused, beaten, and killed women who tried to extricate themselves from the grasp of the Beast. Countless friends and families have stood by helplessly imploring their children/siblings/parents to flee the grasp of the Beast. It doesn’t matter how much logic, love, or money you offer the victims, they seem incapable of escaping. It’s horrible to witness. Imagine how much worse it is to live it.
Some might dismiss Melania’s plight because she’s just a “poor little rich girl” who can console herself in fine furs, fine wine, and exotic locales. Some might dismiss Melania’s plight because she “chooses” to stay, when she could leave at any time and probably get a nice alimony check to boot. You see echoes of that in the memes joking about her newfound status and change of situation.
It’s easy to forget the depth of depravity Trump is capable of. This is a man who has repeatedly shown himself to be completely devoid of empathy. What makes you think he wouldn’t use the one thing Melania values over everything else as a weapon to keep her in check? You really think he wouldn’t do that? You really think he wouldn’t take her child and use him against her? Men with far fewer resources than Trump do that all the time.
You want evidence of his lack of commitment? Look at his hands. The man doesn’t wear a wedding band. I know that’s a small thing, but it speaks volumes. When you compare the way the Trumps danced together at the Inaugural and the way the Obamas danced together, the difference is painfully obvious. Barack and Michelle were so adorable to watch that hip hop divas cried their eyes out. There was love like they only dreamed of. Donald Trump barely acknowledged his wife. He was busy waving to the crowd and doing another victory lap. It was all about him. She was just a prop.
For this reason, going forward, I am not ever going to say an unkind word about Melania or Barron. Donald? That’s a different story because Donald is a straight up asshole.