From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE
Energize an Ally Tuesday
In less than two months, C&J's Energize an Ally feature has shaken the American fascist movement to its brittle (so brittle, very brittle, the brittlest, believe me) bones. The key to our success is an ironclad commitment to finding worthy organizations that, when well-funded, can blunt the worst abuses of Steve Bannon and his elderly intern Donald Trump.
This morning's featured group fell into our lap (okay, our twitter feed) yesterday in the form of this ad by VoteVets.org that we've probably watched a dozen times already. It's really good, from the script to the powerful visuals to the decision to air it on TV shows (e.g. Morning Joe) that Trump's eyeballs are glued to every day:
More about VoteVets.org…
Founded in 2006, and backed by over 500,000 supporters, the mission of VoteVets.org is to use public issue campaigns and direct outreach to lawmakers to ensure that troops abroad have what they need to complete their missions, and receive the care they deserve when they get home. VoteVets.org also recognizes veterans as a vital part of the fabric of our country and will work to protect veterans' interests in their day-to-day lives.
Your contribution to VoteVets sends a powerful message that you are committed to elevating the voices of veterans and military families to take on Donald Trump's policies that put our veterans and nation's security at risk.
Let's help keep this ad on the air---the donation page is here. As Laura noted in yesterday's post on the ad, "[I]f the popular vote loser happens to see it during his obsessive watching of the morning shows, it will leave a mark. And what’s he going to do, go to his favorite insult and call a guy who lost his leg in military service a 'loser'?"
Oh, I'd love to see him try. That would go over so well.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold...
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, February 7, 2017
Note: This so-called note is jeopardizing national security. If this space gets attacked by a jihadist memo, bill of lading, or a grocery list, the blood will be on its pixels, not ours. ---Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til America must raise the debt ceiling or start defaulting on its debts: 37
Days 'til the Orlando Chili Cookoff: 11
Percent chance that President Trump---via Sunday's Fox News interview---is fine with Russia's leader being a murderer of other human beings, including political rivals: 100%
Years Queen Elizabeth II has been on the throne as of yesterday, setting a monarchy endurance record: 65
Minimum number of concerts Willie Nelson has played with his trusty guitar "Trigger" over the last 40 years, amounting to over 1 million minutes of playing time, according to Nick Offerman’s book Gumption: 10,000
Number of times a year Trigger gets repaired and reinforced by Austin luthier Mark Erlewine: 2
Percent chance that the hills are alive with the sound of music, according to the Von Trapp Institute for Paranormal Alpine Studies: 100%
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Would you like sprinkles with that?
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CHEERS to beating a[nother] hasty retreat. White House seat warmer Lord Dampnut now says his “very, very wonderful” and "very, very superior" Obamacare replacement---which he promised would be rolled out "very, very quickly" and "very, very beautifully"---will now be “very, very shelved” until at least 2018.
The statement, which Trump made in an interview with Bill O’Reilly of Fox News, could signal a significant setback in the effort to repeal and replace the 2010 law, which has helped 20 million people obtain health insurance---and which is suddenly showing some political resiliency.
Trump has stated previously that Congress should pass its Obamacare replacement plan at roughly the same time that it acts to repeal the law---in part, so that people who now depend on it for coverage will know what they’re getting instead. […]
Even before Trump spoke to O’Reilly, it was becoming clear that the effort to wipe away President Barack Obama’s signature domestic policy accomplishment was running into serious trouble. Despite nearly seven years of promising to come up with an alternative health care plan, Republicans are nowhere near agreement on how to craft one.
Which probably explains why former President Barack Obama was spotted this morning looking "very, very smiley."
CHEERS to telling a first-class wanker to bugger off. After nearly two million UKers signed a petition calling on Parliament to pull up its drawbridge if Lord Dampnut shows up during his next trip to Britain (during which he'll probably spend more time representing his golf course than his country), the Speaker of the House of Commons pursed his lips, tooted on one of those really long trumpets with a carpet hanging from it, and then issued a proclamation while standing on a human pedestal made of serfs:
Donald Trump is unfit to address MPs, according to the Speaker of the House of Commons who said that he would refuse to invite the US president to speak at Westminster because of parliament’s long held opposition “to racism and to sexism.”
John Bercow warned that the opportunity to speak in the prestigious Westminster Hall during a state visit “is not an automatic right, it is an earned honour” in an extraordinary intervention that divided MPs and annoyed No 10. […]
“After the imposition of the migrant ban by President Trump I am even more strongly opposed to an address by President Trump in Westminster Hall,” Bercow told MPs, who were visibly shocked by his comments.
In honor of Speaker Bercow's candor and unambiguous opposition, today we're offering free haggis in the C&J cafeteria. (Disclaimer: It's the same piece of haggis we've been offering for free since 2006. So, seriously, please, somebody take it. If nothing else it makes a great doorstop. But for god's sake don’t eat it!)
JEERS to hypocrites in high places. Mitch McConnell is whining again about the upcoming battle over Supreme Court nominee and slo-mo Cialis commercial actor from Central Casting Neil Gorsuch. He's very concerned that Democrats are simply playing politics by threatening to filibuster Gorsuch's confirmation vote:
"Democrats now have a choice:
They can tear our country apart further, or they can stand up and lead. I invite Leader Schumer and his party, who repeatedly declared how necessary it was to have nine justices on the court, to now follow through on their refrain of 'we need nine' by giving this tremendously well-qualified nominee fair consideration and an up-or-down vote."
Mitch, Mitch, Mitch. Allowing Gorsuch's nomination to go through would violate the McConnell Rule, which clearly states (and I quote, from the 10-thousand times McConnell invoked it last year): "No! No No No No No!" And we wouldn’t want to cross that sacred line. So go ahead and blow up the filibuster to save your guy…but only as long as you're prepared to hear these five words when Democrats are back in charge: Supreme Court Justice Ellen DeGeneres.
P.S. Barring any additional Republican spine transplants, Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski will be the only GOPers voting today against the confirmation of education nominee Betsy DeVos, meaning VP Mike Pence will become the first sitting Senate President to cast the deciding vote on a cabinet nominee. And then all our kids will cease to be students in the eyes of the executive branch, and instead become little profit-centers for the charter school vultures. Instead of "Readin', writin' and 'rithmatic" they'll learn three new fundamentals: "payin', prayin' and anti-gayin'."
CHEERS to construer constriction. On February 7, 1795 the Eleventh Amendment to the United States Constitution was ratified. It says:
"The judicial power of the United States shall not be construed to extend to any suit in law or equity, commenced or prosecuted against one of the United States by citizens of another State, or by citizens or subjects of any foreign state."
Sadly, they failed to include "or by aliens from another planet," leading to the unexpected annexation of Montana by the Emperor Glarb of the Xxxxorpp Nebula. Whoops! (But I have to admit Jon Tester looks regal in his token-viceroy sash.)
CHEERS to gettin' out there and making a joyful…um…peep. I wasn't aware of this weekend’s pro-Trump rally that took place just up the street in Monument Square:
Then again, apparently neither was anyone else.
CHEERS to repetition that repeats itself. On this date in 1893, the "telautograph" was patented, which automatically added signatures to documents. Don Rumsfeld infamously made great use of it when expressing his condolences to families of soldiers killed in Iraq, thus allowing him to fit in a couple extra games of squash every week. Efficient? Gosh, yes. Heartless? Goodness gracious, of course!
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Ten years ago in C&J: February 7, 2007
CHEERS to the real culture warriors (that's us, kids). Jonathan Singer at MyDD interviews Harry Reid [link no longer functional –BiPM], who confirms that blogs are poised to take over the universe:
"I think that the new world of blogs is good for our system. It's new for a lot of us. But it's not going to be anymore because it's so part of our culture. And I think that the people that read your blog should understand the power that they have, the power that did not exist even five years ago. People no longer say, "What was in the morning paper?" or "What was on last night's news?" Now they want to know what blogs have to say about this issue.
Here’s what I have to say: the pickled beet industry is corrupting our children and causing global warming! (And wait'll you hear my views on tort reform, Senator...)
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And just one more…
CHEERS to historic moments in getting busted for doing something naughty with your hand. Seven hilarious years ago, while bamboozling a rapt Tea Party audience in Nashville at the height of the movement's ascendancy, former everything Sarah Palin got caught for the most juvenile of transgressions: writing cheat notes on her hand:
Energy. Budget Tax cuts. Lift American spirits. So complex were those concepts that she had to write them down. On her hand. Six words. And even then she made a mistake. Y'know, we don’t say this to our right-wing friends nearly enough: thank you for your healing gift of laughter.
Have a nice Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"I actually scraped the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool for a couple of hours one night. It was pretty disgusting."
---Alexis Noel, Georgia Institute of Technology
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