Saturday, two days ago, started out bad. Much of my social life revolves around my tennis doubles mixers (teams are random and varied) at the public courts of North County San Diego. Among the 8 to 30 people (some waiting) at any given time, occasionally there are eruptions of anger. Usually, after the games a few of us meet for coffee at the local McDonalds, and the conversations are as varied as finding a cheap auto repair shop to some serious discussions of race, religion and political ideology.
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Sid, is a regular player, although he doesn’t attend the coffee chats., He is something that didn’t have a name when we first met a few years ago, having had his own talk radio program, but now could be caricatured as having some alt Right beliefs. We bonded a bit when we both drove another player who was having a mild stroke to the hospital. He always asks that we sit down and have a more extensive conversation about politics, his having read some of my stuff. I avoid it, since he has told me enough that I realize it would not be productive.
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But Saturday morning as we had a minute between games and my having just read the report in the L.A. Times, I brought up the question of Trumps speech at CPAC, where he proclaimed his leadership of the Republican party devoid of any deviation from “America, first last and always.” Far from my thinking this might have been too much for him, Sid, looking exasperated, said that I misconstrued Trumps words, and when I denied this, he moved closer -- and in his emphasizing his point, poked my chest with his finger.
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I’ll just say the next minute was not pleasant. He felt I breached our friendship by over-reacting to an innocent means of accentuating a point, something that I saw as the first blow of a fascistic movement that could have catastrophic results. The ensuing escalation, especially my part, could be heard across the park. I didn’t feel good about it, but played the next game and everyone was quite courteous to me, realizing I was upset. I am fortunate to have genuine friendly feelings to the close to hundred people who show up in the course of a year, so there were some jokes and mock reactions to my stentorian reproaches to Sid, but we never got into what had set it off, although most could have guessed.
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Here’s the exchange of emails when I got home:
Sid,
It was my mistake for initiating a discussion about national politics.
I guess we were a microcosm of the fear and anger that has spread across the country, even causing deep rancor among families. One thing that I value, and usually attempt to abide by, is the public tennis courts being a "politics free" zone.
See you at the courts.
Al
He responded quickly
Al,
We are both serious about a lot of things, and the current bizarre conundrum of thought is removing the bedrock of our sense of well being.
Sorry as well for my part. I truly appreciate your note and look forward to kicking your ass with tennis rather than words and aggression.
I wish some time we could meet "off court" and go more in depth.
Again, I don't carry hard feelings. You are a good guy.
Sid
This is my personal challenge, to maintain human affection while at the same time understanding the danger of the Trump administration. By doing this, those who lump all who oppose this President together are denied this simplistic generalization, as I refuse to confirm it. I’m glad I didn’t tolerate the poke in the chest, but more happy that I was able to quickly repair the breach between us.