I was lazing in bed when my phone rang and I saw the name of my dearest friend, M. Through most of four decades, a circle of friends had endured, if attenuated by distance, dating back to my early career days in the 1980’s. But we had already seen our number shrink, as we lost S and R. The news M had for me when he called was about H. M and H went further back together, having stayed friends since college and into their early legal careers, when I met them.
M told me that H has not been conscious since Wednesday and breathes only because of a respirator. That support is being removed. After a private cremation, a memorial will be planned for the Spring.
That is why I prepared and ate most of the comfort food pictured above while watching Caddy Shack. H was a man of many enthusiasms, the most enduring of which was golf and he truly, madly, deeply loved that movie. Over the years, we saw H pass through many other enthusiasms, from flying to scuba diving to carpentry, wine collection, art collection, etc. He was a man of considerable appetites. At one time he would have loved the kind of breakfast pictured.
H was also an early adapter. For many years, he chased the newest and best consumer electronics, like video games, computer, TV, home theater, etc. He loved new golf tech. He would have loved the gadget that produced some of the ingredients (chives, mint, parsley) on the plate pictured. It’s an LED Hydroponic Kitchen Garden. Pure organic greens, just add water, electricity and liquid plant food.
An A-List debater from high school forward, H was a good lawyer. I know from my own 30 years in courtrooms that probably didn’t make him any easier to live with.
H was childless himself, but is regarded by my own two children as a World Class uncle. His home with his wife C was never without rescued dogs and cats, in my memory. Anyone they knew was always warmly welcome and I have spent many, many nights under their roof, taking meals at their table and savoring wine from their cellar.
I must leave it to his wife, C, my dear friend, to assess H as a husband. I know he loved her truly, but am certain that he must have led her through very difficult times. Yet I know that they endured and sustained one another through terrible family losses. Most of all, my thoughts turn to C.
An accomplished an internationally esteemed scientific and government professional in her own right, I hope and expect C will be financially secure, though I worry about anybody facing hospital, medical and funeral bills. I hope that any memorial planned by C for later is a mostly jolly, well lubricated wake, with music, which H loved, and film, which H loved, and food, which H loved, and intoxicants, which H loved, etc. etc. etc. There are not too many of us left. It is time we reconnected and had a party. I hope C remembers the fun times. I hope we all do.