Village of Sutton Courtenay, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom. March 24, 2017 — This evening, the small country churchyard at the Church of All Saints experienced earth tremors, followed by an explosion of flying earth and wood splinters, as the furiously spinning remains of Eric Arthur Blair drilled up, and were seen to burst out of the small graveyard and fly off into the sky, before disappearing, heading West. Mr. Blair, buried here after his death in 1950, became acclaimed as a luminary of English letters under his pen name, George Orwell.
Local authorities initially appeared uncertain how to respond to a case of a grave desecrating itself. When asked how this could have happened, officials, speaking on background, speculated that the direction of flight of the spinning remains, when last observed, suggested Washington, D.C. as a possible destination. This led to further speculation that the esteemed writer’s remains may have been impelled into such violent spinning and flight by the past week’s unprecedented assault, by Republicans in Washington, on the very ability, of the English language, to continue to convey information relatable to physical reality.
Some believe that the Newspeak excesses which occurred this week in the U.S. House of Representatives and White House, as Republicans have discussed Russian espionage and U.S. Healthcare, may have psychically induced Mr. Blair’s remains into the actions resulting in the unusual phenomena observed at the All Saints Churchyard. The Affordable Care Act, which dodged a bullet in Congress, today, extends affordable health insurance with meaningful coverage, to millions of Americans who previously had no such thing and is projected to continue to do so if the law is left unmolested. The ACA reduces the federal deficit. This, to Republicans is a “death spiral” because taxes on the very rich make it possible; to President Trump, the law will “explode” though others, who actually know what they are talking about, say otherwise. Meanwhile, House Republicans on the House Intelligence Committee (please forgive oxymoron) insist that heroes are rats because the problem with Russians interfering in American elections is the squealers who let Americans know that it’s happening.
If the speculations have merit, about why this long quiet English grave has become so explosively active, it remains to be seen just what Mr. Blair’s remains expect to do upon arrival in Washington, D.C.
Film at 11.