I had planned to be in the March in DC today. I had plane tickets from CA to DC, on the way to give talks at the neurology meetings in Boston tomorrow and Monday. i was going to march with my sister, who lives in DC. But life intervened. My dad, who is 101 years old, is dying. So I canceled my plans, and I've been with him 24/7 for the last week. My sister came out a few days ago to be with us, so she's not marching, either.
We are lucky, though. First of all, we've had a wonderful father for so many years. He was diagnosed with hypertension back in 1973 but his very bright primary care doc, a colleague of mine from when I was a post doc at Stanford, was already aware of the research results. She put him on the right meds, adjusted as needed, and kept his blood pressure well controlled all these years. So he has not suffered from stroke, heart disease, or vascular dementia. Thank you, medical science! Even so, 101 is old, and he is frail. We have great resources to help, though. Hospice is covered by Medicare, because evidence based science shows people like my dad have better quality of life at less cost. Thanks, medical research! We have cool stuff for caregiving — a fancy hospital bed, super absorbent supplies for incontinence, meds if he starts to have pain (so far none), and many small comforts like ointments. These may seem small compared to space exploration or curing cancer or saving the global climate, but they are not trivial when you are at the end of life.
Science doesn't have all the answers, of course. He's going to say goodbye. No avoiding that. And despite all the experience of the hospice folks, and my 30 years in aging research, we don't know when. He has already outlasted their initial guesses. I guess you don't get to be 101 without being pretty resilient.
So I'm not marching for science today. I'm with my dad, without whom I might not have had the confidence and skills to become a woman in science at a time when that was still uncommon.
Thanks, Dad, for your lifelong love of learning, your example as a teacher who opened doors for women and students of color, your observations of the natural world around us, your assurance that even if women had to work harder, I’d do better. And most of all, thanks for your love. It's been a long march together, and just a few more steps before you go beyond me.
Sunday, Apr 23, 2017 · 2:34:25 AM +00:00
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Laurel in CA
Wow, rec list for my dad, on a day when so many important things are happening — thank you! Maybe it lifted someone else’s spirits, too, as it did mine to think of how science is woven into our life and love. Our gratitude and affection to all of you, for reading and thinking of us.