Well I mentioned last night I had a fire Thursday of last week. Only totaled one room (and I mean totaled), my home office, but the smoke damage is such they are taking the entire five bedroom, two floor house to the studs. My understanding is only one of the bathtubs will survive.
It is at this point I should note what I didn’t note well in the last Diary. I AM OKAY!!!!
Bad, small burn on my left wrist. I tried to get my 4TB drive out, that has my entire personal and professional life on it. I wasn’t successful, but what I am sure will be an ugly scar shows I tried really hard. Too hard in fact. I am honestly reevaluating why I’d risk my life for a fucking external HD (but that is another Diary).
Watching everything I have accumulated in my 48 years on this planet thrown into a dumpster, cataloged and put into boxes to be taken to a warehouse and most likely trashed, or in a few trash bags in my hotel room that will be my home for the next few months, I got mad at myself.
Those that know me here know I am a card carrying far left liberal. And darn fucking proud of it.
If there is one topic I care about maybe more than any it is the environment. I am first a resident of this planet. But also an avid hiker/camper/walker (Q20,000/steps a day). The world is such a beautiful and wondrous place I can’t wrap my mind around why we choose to destroy it.
I don’t recall the last time I cried. But after walking through my house I broke down and cried uncontrollably for I don't know how long. It wasn’t for what I lost, well it was, but not maybe in the way you think.
I am one of the problems with all my cheap plastic stuff. I am that dude that appears to own stuff just to own stuff. That bought stuff to fill a room in a house, just to fill the darn room yet serving no purpose. Having things just to have them. I’d say now about 95% of what I own I don’t need. I don’t even know why I have most of it, other than I guess just to have it.
The room that was totaled had all my computer, A/V, and gaming stuff. It was like walking into a mini-Best Buy. But after heading to Verizon and picking up the best phone, headset, headphones, portable Bluetooth speaker, and “smart” watch. Then getting the best mini-laptop Dell could make. Stationary store for a Moleskine notebook and mechanical pencil I have about everything I need.
But I had like 50 times that ……
It really hit me when the guy from the firm that is going to clean my cloths, curtains, bedding, and such went through my closet. He is like you are really organized. It then says “wow you have a lot of long sleeve button up Polos. How many is that?” I said I don’t know, not wore any of them in maybe 15 years. He counts them. 32.
Tells me that All State pays him per item in the house, but I don’t have to have everything cleaned. He will just write me a check for anything he is paid for and I chose to trash. I said, “wait, trash, can’t I give them away.” He said not if he doesn’t clean them.
I said then clean everything. I am giving most of those cloths away. You asked me to give you two “emergency” bags of stuff you will turn around in 24 hours. Those are the two cloths hampers at the bottom off the stairs and what is in the washing machine. Those or the 7-10 outfits I wear. I don’t need almost anything else. I bet somebody else does.
He said that is very Christian of you, would you like to pray?
I said nope, I am an atheist. But isn’t gluttony talked about as a terrible sin in the Bible? Well this entire situation is making me realize, or I don’t know exactly (I still don’t) what, but I am having some moral issues. I am embarrassed by my over-the-top gluttony.
I told myself I was living this way or that way. I wasn’t. I was talking with the lady that lives behind me (Amy) and the guy she lives with (Nate). They are both more liberal than I am. They also saved my life last week.
Nate went to the bathroom at around 4:13 AM and saw the fire. Amy called 9/11, jumped the fence, and saw my car was there so I had to be in the house. She tried to break down the door and couldn’t.
When no police or fire were there quickly she called again yelling at the top of her lungs I was inside and I needed FUCKING HELP THIS SECOND. I don’t recall any of this. I assume I was overcome by the smoke trying to get the HD and then looking for my cat (she is okay I should add!!!!!!). Told the police and firefighters had to restrain me because I kept trying to dash back into the house to get my cat.
Sidebar: In a small rural town of 5,000 everybody gossips. I lost my wallet, checkbook in the fire. I went to the bank two days later to get like $5,000 and the first thing the teller says to me is, “I heard you are lucky to be alive. Why did you try to go back in?” Putting aside why the fire department or police would talk about this shit, I said my cat. She seemed confused. I am like either you don’t have any pets or you don’t love them as much as I do my Mather. You can fault and mock me all you want. They not letting me back in was 110% correct. But I am not remotely ashamed I tried to do what I did!
Before all this happened I knew they were raging liberals. If we are both in the yard at the same time we talk and talk. But that is about it. Now we are talking more. Took them dinner the other night to thank them (the first of many thank you I will try to come up with) and we couldn’t understand how we’re not all best friends.
They live a very minimalist life.
As I kind of talk about this all they could have mocked me, but that isn’t how us liberals roll is it?
Noted that gluttony caused the fire. That it was a $5 power strip I got at Wal-Mart, made in China. Now I use like $75+ ones for stuff my equipment is plugged into. This one, and I knew it wasn’t really a power strip. Just an extension cord I had a fan (off), light (off), heating pad (off), and a Samsung cell phone charger (on) plugged into that started the fire.
I will end with what I find hard to explain. My mom (and I love her to death) and the guy (the boss, not the workers in my house) from Servpro boxing my stuff up and tearing the place down to the studs both are like giddy. I get basically a new home. I can change this or that. The layout. Just about anything.
I don’t want to get in the weeds here but I have very good insurance. I am being told I can do nothing illegal and almost make money. I can’t get past I feel like I wasn’t living the life I thought. And it took a fucking fire, me almost ceasing to be and having to be carried out of my house, because somehow I felt a disk drive was so important for me to get any of this.
I need to reevaluate stuff, the start is I need less stuff …...