Whether you call it Trumpcare or Ryancare, AHCA or TrumbeTryanToKillEverybodyCare, one issue that almost every American is worried about today is, will pre-existing conditions be protected if Republicans are able to get their way? (They won’t.) Here’s an example of just some of the “declinable” pre-existing conditions that existed before Obamacare became law, from the Kaiser Family Foundation.
AIDS/HIV
Lupus
Alcohol abuse/ Drug abuse with recent treatment
Mental disorders (severe, e.g. bipolar, eating disorder)
Alzheimer’s/dementia
Multiple sclerosis
Arthritis (rheumatoid), fibromyalgia, other inflammatory joint disease
Muscular dystrophy
Cancer within some period of time (e.g. 10 years, often other than basal skin cancer)
Obesity, severe
Cerebral palsy
Organ transplant
Congestive heart failure
Paraplegia
Coronary artery/heart disease, bypass surgery
Paralysis
Crohn’s disease/ ulcerative colitis
Parkinson’s disease
Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD)/emphysema
Pending surgery or hospitalization
Diabetes mellitus
Pneumocystic pneumonia
Epilepsy
Pregnancy or expectant parent
Hemophilia
Sleep apnea
Hepatitis (Hep C)
Stroke
Kidney disease, renal failure
Transsexualism
That’s bad news. But there are some pre-existing conditions still covered under the proposed repeal. I’ve compiled a list of problems you or a loved one may suffer from that shouldn’t affect whether or not you can have “access” to a million-dollar-goldplated plan that you won’t be able to afford, and I’m sure some of you might know of a few I missed.
- Tired in the morning disease (also known as “I need my coffee syndrome”)
- Itchy foot
- Angry-at-the-news involuntary fist-shaking-itis
- Shaking my damn head syndrome (also known as smdh)
- Early onset crankiness
- Racism
- Mosquito bites
- Quiet at the family dinner table during “political discussion” allergy
- Over your libertarian-friend’s opinionitis
- Cutting off one’s nose to spite their face syndrome (under the umbrella of “Trump tells it like it is” disease)
- CO2 and H2O waste disposal condition (also known as breathing)
Please feel free to apply, be accepted, and then not able to afford your new healthcare! I’m going to get the super awesome one that has free “unlimited dirt naps.”