Stephen Colbert has been, like the overwhelming majority of Americans, highly critical of unpopular President and frightening lunatic Donald Trump. One of the differences between Stephen Colbert and most Americans is that he has a nightly show seen by millions and disseminated across the internets to many millions more. To add insult to injury for the thinly orange-hued skinned Trump, Colbert is wickedly funny and smart. In Trump’s instant classic of an interview with TIME, Trump attacked Colbert.
You see a no-talent guy like Colbert. There’s nothing funny about what he says. And what he says is filthy. And you have kids watching. And it only builds up my base. It only helps me, people like him. The guy was dying. By the way they were going to take him off television, then he started attacking me and he started doing better. But his show was dying. I’ve done his show. … But when I did his show, which by the way was very highly rated. It was high—highest rating. The highest rating he’s ever had.
Stephen Colbert opened his show last night readingthe above quote in a mock Trump voice.
Colbert: The President of the United States has personally come after me and my show and there is only one thing to say … hehehehehe Yeeeaaaaaaaaahhh!
After chants of “Stephen! Stephen!” from the audience:
Mr. Trump. There’s a lot of things you don’t know but I never thought one of those things would be showbiz! Don’t you know that I’ve been trying for a year to get you to say my name? But now you did it! I won! Oh, no! Please don’t make me trend on Twitter again. Don’t throw me in that hashtag-briar patch!
But, you’re not wrong. I do occasionally use adult language. And I do it in public, instead of in the privacy of an Access Hollywood bus. And it’s true [crowd cheering]—that is dignified. THAT is dignified. And it’s true that the night you appeared on the show, right over there, it was highly rated. In fact the only episode I had better ratings was the night I had Jeb Bush on. That’s right, you got beat by low-energy Jeb.
Ooof.
So don’t worry, you won the ratings “college.”
Kaplow! Watch the rest down below. You don’t get in the ring with a heavyweight when you weigh 90 lbs wet. And Donald Trump weighs 90 lbs when he wears 89 lbs worth of Aquanet.
Enjoy!