Believe me, I know. It’s really hard, damn near impossible to get away from the Trump-Russia shenanigans, if for no better reason than that’s pretty much all we’re inundated with on the news front, pretty much 24/7. But believe it or not, if you dare to step outside of Moscow and Washington DC, there really is a world out there, the sun is shining, grass is growing, and shit that has nothing at all to do with Trump and Russia is going on.
In my ceaseless quest for stuff with which to irritate you by means of the printed word, I suddenly thought about a couple of things that were once major deals, a long time ago, in a galaxy far away, and I hadn’t actually heard anything about them in a while. So, being by nature an inquisitive laddie, I looked them up, and here’s what I found.
The fate of Joe Arpaio, “America’s Toughest Pendejo Tin Star” now rests solely in the hands of a federal district court judge. The testimony and argument phase of his criminal contempt charge has ended, and the judge is deliberating. It is expected that the judge will not hand down an actual decision on Arpaio for several weeks. I just hope that when the verdict comes down, the networks at least have the decency and humanity to tun it on a Chryon so that I don’t have to go hunting for it a month or so from now.
And, on another legal front line, the time is near nigh for the determination of the fate of everybody’s favorite mercenary merchant of death, Pharma Bro, Martin Shkreli. Don’t ask me how, but apparently the judge and the two sides were able to find 18 people, 12 jurors and six alternates, who were able to watch this two legged port-o-potty walking into court every day without whipping out a rope and grabbing a chair. The prosecution is scheduled to wrap up its case on Monday, or Tuesday at the latest, and the defense is only scheduled to call “several witnesses”. Final arguments could come as early as Thursday, and the jury could have the case before the weekend. The judge is reportedly very displeased with the childish, and sometimes personal cniping of the opposition counsel during the trial, leading at one point to this rather snippy exchange;
Judge” You are acting like a bunch of children.
Defense Counsel: Well, be the adult in the room.
Judge: No, YOU be the adults in the room!
Actually, the defense attorney is fortunate. Judges take their authority and status seriously, and many a backhanded comment like that has had the lawyer ponying up to the court clerks window with his checkbook for a contempt fine, or if the judge is pissed enough, a night in the cell next to the defendant. There of course is no word or even estimate on the expected or possible length of deliberations in the case.
So, there you have it. Just a quick update on a couple of cases that were once the subject of a multitude of diaries, until we were distracted by things like Muslim bans, national security, the integrity of our democracy, piddly shit like that. I’ll keep an eye out as much as possible and let y’all know when the shit finally hits the fan. We now return you to your previously scheduled program.