Today, the 27th of July in the Year of Our Lord, Two Thousand Seventeen, is a day that you might want to mark down. If you’re young enough, you’ll want to be able to tell your grandchildren of the future that today was a watershed day, a kind of benchmark when the current Republican administration forever dispelled the notion that it took a special sort of man or woman to serve in government, someone whose jib was cut just a bit finer than the regular joes and janes to which the vast majority of us belong. No, today was indeed the day where if anybody was harboring the least bit of doubt that the great Democratic experiment had gone totally awry, nay berserk, and that the standards of civility in this country had plummeted way beyond bargain basement level and when last seen were hurtling towards the molten core of the earth, the example of the newly appointed White House Communications Director, Anthony Scaramucci, on the job less than one week, handling a White House public relations matter with his colleague, Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, would serve to perfectly illustrate just Who We Are on this glorious summer day in the 241st year of this once-great nation. Lady Liberty herself must be weeping.
Using language that was once guaranteed to make even the proverbial sailor blush, Mr. Scaramucci ranted to New Yorker journalist Ryan Lizza about Mr. Priebus’ perceived shortcomings:
Mimicking Priebus, Scaramucci tells Lizza: “ ‘Oh, Bill Shine is coming in. Let me leak the f------ thing and see if I can cock-block these people the way I cock-blocked Scaramucci for six months.’ ”
“Reince is a f------ paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac,”
Then, after sharing his gameplan for the day, “I want to kill all the f**king leakers,” Mr. Scaramucci took issue with the unsuitability for office of yet another colleague, Chief Strategist Steve Bannon, and shared with the world via twitter this unforgettable image: “I'm not Steve Bannon, I'm not trying to suck my own cock,” which caused journalist Bill Palmer to quip, “Steve Bannon says Paul Ryan's a limp dick. The Mooch says Bannon sucks his own cock. These Trump guys are obsessed with each other's penises.” A reasonable observation to make under the circumstances. And another tweeter, Frank the Bunny queried, “If Barron breaks his own neck trying it, don't think Trumpie will pardon Mooch?” Not a chance in hell. A shout out to a tweeter named TBogg who imbued the occasion with this sense of proportion:
Bannon: Paul Ryan is a "limpdick motherfucker."
Mooch: Bannon sucks his own cock.
Trump: orgy stories for Boy Scouts
-Obama wore a tan suit
Obama not only wore a tan suit, he ate dijon mustard as well and even put his feet on a desk on one occasion. Those were the days, my friend. But let’s not get so caught up in reminiscing that we forget how we started out today, and that was discussing Mr. Scaramucci’s re-christening of Mr. Priebus, hereinafter “Mr. Piebus.”
Priebus was previously the chairman of the Republican National Committee and is the leader of the White House faction that tries to persuade Trump to act like a normal Republican rather than the personification of a soda can that has been dropped on the floor and has exploded and is being like shot in random directions across the floor, making the entire floor sticky and disgusting, by the foam spraying out of a hole in the side of the can.
If you were wondering where “he who personifies the soda can” is in all this, legend has it that he is purportedly laughing at Mr. Piebus’ discomforture, which makes sense because as Mr. Scaramucci noted, “The fish stinks from the head down.” (Actually the correct phrase is “The fish ‘rots’ from the head down, but whatevs...) Consider the source(s). All of them. This is one sorry school of fish that swam in with Donald Trump and stink is what they do. Boy, are we going to need a lot of Comet when these guys get out of the White House.