Donald Trump is not a well man. He’s in touch with reality the way a basketball is in touch with the ground -- on one tiny point of its circumference, and that's bouncing like a mofo. Craziest of all, he thinks no one else is onto him, and so he thinks nothing of telling lies that are easily disproven and will embarrass him later.
Case in point.
“I got a call from the head of the Boy Scouts saying it was the greatest speech that was ever made to them, and they were very thankful,” Trump said, also disputing claims the crowd gave a mixed reaction to the controversial speech.
“And by the way, I’d be the first to admit mixed. I’m a guy that will tell you mixed. There was no mix there. That was a standing ovation from the time I walked out to the time I left, and for five minutes after I had already gone. There was no mix,” the president added.
Humility prevented him from talking about the part where he handed out loaves and fishes and there were baskets and baskets of them left over, so many baskets, great baskets, you wouldn’t even believe it. And his girlfriend from band camp was there (you don’t know her, she’s from Canada, where she’s a model), and the ghost of Marilyn Monroe popped out of a big cake and sang “Happy Birthday” to him (even though it wasn’t his birthday — everybody knows that’s December 25th, but hey, what can ya do, Marilyn got carried away), and the crowd had to be sedated because they became overexcited after Trump blasted off in his solid-gold jet-pack (which he doesn’t even need because he can fly under his own power, thanks to Earth’s yellow sun) and left. Many, it is said, wept with joy and were healed of plagues and maladies. The site of the jamboree is to become a national monument (because there's plenty of room for new ones now, thanks to the great foresight of the Trumpresident), and may even become America's own Gaza Strip, as everyone will certainly want to claim it for their own when the new religions develop.
Anyway, of course, this was all a cavalcade of horseshit. The Boy Scouts have denied making any such call to him, and have been apologizing for the speech ever since. Once again, he made it all up because, for some reason unfathomable to those of us who didn’t have Fred C. (the C was for Christ and I kid you not) Trump for a daddy, he needs to.
It’s almost sad that a grown man with all the money in the world is still so insecure and feels like such a failure that he has to share fantasies like this in public. It's pathetic. I’d have to feel embarrassed for him if he wasn't such a hateful asshole, doing things like this, or deciding the best just isn’t good enough for him, or… well, everything else he does, really, take your pick.
I miss having a president who didn’t do shit like this. Obama, if anything, didn’t brag enough. And remember when we all thought Dubya’s silly-ass carrier landing was the height of vainglory? Seems pretty quaint now.