It’s just another week...but that doesn’t mean the same for everyone. It’s hard to remember the wild disparities in treatment, especially with the push for a post-feminist world. Yes, women are represented in most if not all careers — and in the majority of them, accepting that regular harassment and less pay is simply part of the cost of a career. They (at least in the US and most of the West) have access to all the same spaces — accepting that the threat of rape or violence, and then being blamed for it, is the cost of access. And toughest of all, this reality means also accepting the fact that most of our peers (men and some women) either have a hard time seeing it, or also accept that it’s just the way things are. Many thanks to the WoW crew, especially Besame, ElenaCarlena, Eyesbright, Ramara, and SandraLLAP.
‘Women’s Issues’
"How many more warrior women are missing from the history books? The recent discovery of female bones in a Viking warrior grave is yet another indication that we’ve only scratched the surface of female history.” It was fascinating to discover that one of the Viking warrior leaders was actually a woman — and had been called a man since its discovery for the sole reason that the archeologists couldn’t believe a woman could be a warrior.
https://www.theguardian.com/…
This isn’t something new — it adds to the numerous other areas women have been written out of history: in science, computers/IT, politics, writing, etc.
As part of that, we teach girls that they have the responsibility to keep their bodies safe — and that they also need to be protected. We’ve all seen the jokes about ‘rules for dating my daughter’...and the underlying threat of violence from the dad. Yet somehow, I’ve never once heard about that for someone’s son. Girls are seen as needing protection...from their peers and boys they know. And yet somehow, it’s REVOLUTIONARY when a father’s shirt with ‘rules for dating my daughter’ is simply ‘Her body, her rules.’ Something that’s just assumed for boys. Unfortunately, that’s something that’s still assumed, even as they grow.
Here’s a girl who was raped for months by staff at her school in India — and when they found out she was pregnant, pushed for an abortion. She’s in critical condition. This is something that shouldn’t happen as part of an abortion procedure, if it’s in a safe and medically appropriate environment. Whether that’s because the facility wasn’t filled with appropriate personnel, or because the staff were hoping to find a way to hide their crimes, I don’t know and can’t speculate.
Or a law student who was raped by her professor.
Or the fact that a Minority Leader was the only woman in a room of government leaders — and couldn’t get a word in edgewise, because the men simply spoke over her. That challenge in being heard isn’t unique — and it’s not just conservatives who’ve had that problem. Even in President Obama’s cabinet, women had to repeat what another lady had said so it would be heard — something they called amplification. It looks like folks are trying to create a word to explain the phenomena.
How about restroom access? We’re used to lines being longer for women’s restrooms because ‘girls take forever’...ignoring the fact that in most cases, there are simply fewer seats/facilities. Or that ‘lack of restrooms’ have been used in this country to justify not allowing women to attend colleges, or fully participate in professional life.
Protests are being planned at urinals across Amsterdam over the lack of female public toilet facilities after a judge criticised a woman for not using public male toilets after getting caught short on the streets of the city.
Geerte Piening, 23, was fined after she asked her friends to cover for her as she urinated off a street on a night out in Amsterdam’s Leidseplein district. Amsterdam has 35 public urinals for men and only three public toilets for women. It was past the closing time of local bars, and Piening was a couple of kilometres from the nearest women’s toilet facilities. Piening decided to fight the charges in court, only to be criticised by the judge who said that despite the lack of toilets available for women she should have made use of the facilities made available to men.
“It would not be pleasant but it can be done,” the judge told her.
https://www.theguardian.com/…
I had included an interesting twitter thread, of what it would look like if we switched the genders on things that were said. A girl did this for her Middle School project...a film with reversed gender roles.
www.huffingtonpost.com/…
Check it out — it’s powerful. Gender roles are part of how we socialize kids. It’s up to us to fix it, from when they’re little. This is everything from respecting people’s bodies, to making sure we don’t encourage kids to go into ‘appropriate’ classes or sports. (Boys? Math. Girls? Literature.) There was a fantastic study showing just how common it is.
It’s true with parenting, too. Women are seen as the ‘proper’ parents by society. This is to the point where it’s hard for men to be able to change that stereotype, because the only parenting facilities are women only. Like changing tables. My husband and I actually had to limit where we went out, especially after baby 2, because I had a much slower recovery from my C-section. I couldn’t lift our oldest onto a changing table...and most men’s rooms didn’t have one. To change her, he would have had to use the floor. Twice, we asked for our food to go, and left. We told them why, and never went back. This sort of sexism is incredibly hard to see, until a father tries to do what parents do, and realizes how common the expectations are.
Politics
Women also find their careers limited and bodies policed. Sometimes it’s ‘Identity Politics’ to protest or argue these issues are important. Sometimes it’s being ‘politically correct’ if you point out it’s bullshit. Or that women just can’t take the joke, or are too sensitive.
An anti-abortion activist is running to be Atty. Gen. in Alabama. He thinks the Atty. Gen.'s job is to close abortion clinics and prosecute providers.
https://rewire.news/…
Luckily, it looks like Graham-Cassidy won’t pass.
"Austin’s SXSW Manager Refused to Meet With a Co-Worker He Thought Had a Crush on Him" Why did he think that? No idea. Maybe she was attracted to him. Maybe (and often) because the man assumed she had to be, if she was in that career field and single.
http://www.slate.com/…
More Violence Against Women
There was an article a while ago, about ‘stealthing’...which is removing a condom before sex without the woman’s consent. This happens a lot, and it is sexual violence. This and other ways are used to control a woman’s body and remove choices...it’s something abusive partners do, to keep a woman trapped. It’s also something that just made the news. In this case, it was a famous couple. The man said, ON TELEVISION, that’s how they had their first kid. He joked, saying ‘...I guess I kind of decided.’ The television show? ‘Informed Pregnancy.’ Yes, the man joked about stealing his wife’s medication so she would get pregnant.
Sexual assault is far too common, especially in schools. Of course, the Trump Admin doesn’t think so. Sec DeVos just eliminated Obama admin policies to better address the issue...because it was ‘unfair to the accused.’
Oh, and how funny is rape? Funny enough that High School boys decided it was a cool word to do body scrabble with at a breast cancer awareness night football game.
www.huffingtonpost.com/…
And no, it wasn’t addressed by anyone at the game. And the school won’t discuss the punishment, if there was anything other than a talking to.
The major scandal of women’s gymnastics was when a number of athletes came forward to acknowledge publicly they had been assaulted by a USA Gymnastics doctor. One who women and girls...and their parents...had complained about at the time, and coaches simply buried the complaints. Accusations? Abuse of 100+ gymnasts, many of them minors. The plea deal? 3 counts of child porn, and the rest of the charges are being dropped. Luckily, he still may face time for 22 counts of abuse inside Michigan, since this plea deal was in federal court, and doesn’t affect the state courts.
This violence, whether rape or just more evidence women don’t control their bodies, plays out in school. It’s part of the ‘oh, boys will be boys’ attitude that’s all too common. A girl was grabbed and complained. The boys called her fat. The school? Apparently didn’t notice. She was six. I’ve been attacked at school. The school’s response when my parents complained? Boys will be boys, it’s no big deal. I should just avoid him. In school. At school activities. And then the school told him — and I spent the next two years not telling my parents about the number of times I was grabbed, thrown into lockers, etc. Because we knew the school didn’t care, and I didn’t want to leave the school and the few friends I made. Women, when they’re bullied or attacked, are supposed to make the accommodations.
Mass shootings make the news, at least when they fit acceptable stereotypes. POC shooting anyone? Probably makes the news. ‘Troubled student’ or ‘troubled successful man’ is also an acceptable trope. The trouble is, most shootings? Men who have a history of domestic violence. But ‘wife beater that the police ignored kills partner and everyone else he can, again’ somehow is less comfortable for journalists.
Bill Moyers on the lack of attention given to domestic violence mass shootings.
http://billmoyers.com/...
Recognizing Women
Look at the statues or memorials around your area. It’s mostly, or entirely, men (probably).
Delores Huerta On The Erasure of Women and POCs from History
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/...
Dolores Huerta: I think it’s important for women to be recognized in history for [the sake of] other women, especially young women. But it’s not only when it comes to women. Also, when people of color are left out of history. Then we see the racism that we’re looking at today, we see the misogyny, homophobia and all that. And that’s because our histories are not being told, they are not included in our school books. So then what happens is that people will grow up ignorant of the contributions of people of color or of women or of the LGBT community, of labor unions, etc. We have this abysmal ignorance of women inside America. I think that it’s not only important for women but it’s important for our whole society that our stories be told and that our victories and our achievements can be recorded in history.
Here are some cases of women being recognized for doing...their jobs, and doing them well.
The first statue of a woman ever to stand in London’s Parliament Square has been given the green light by Westminster City Council.
The bronze statue of suffragist leader Millicent Fawcett will be unveiled in the historic square in 2018, marking one hundred years since women first gained the right to vote.
Created by Turner Prize-winning artist Gillian Wearing, it will also be the first statue designed by a woman to be erected in the square. Fawcett joins 11 others, including Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela and Winston Churchill.
https://www.london.gov.uk/…
Today is the unveiling of a statue in San Francisco honoring the hundreds of thousands of "comfort women" forced into Japanese military brothels during World War II:
https://www.nbcnews.com/...
(And I think it's a bit interesting how much opposition there was to this statue...)
Women were strong parts of the abolitionist movement, and strong parts of the movement to get freed slaves the vote. Of course, then it was written so only men of color could vote...it was a long time before the women got the same rights. The labor movement has also always been strongly supported by women.
Keep up the battle!
We still have work to do — and it’s harder work now. Much of the blatant language is becoming coded, and those who want to support us are struggling with the fact that these barriers aren’t just due to horrible people, but are structural in our culture and our gender norms. It’s uncomfortable, especially for those who have made their mission to join us in the fight...because it’s HARD to deal with unconscious bias. Benevolent sexism is still acceptable, and it’s damned hard to call out and avoid. Keep working with us, keep fighting with us...and please, remember that part of the fight is to keep calling it out wherever you see it, and to LISTEN, even if it’s hard. My husband knows what that’s like. He’s been a strong supporter most of his life...and it’s only in the last few years that he’s really started seeing how deep the assumptions have run, as he’s faced it with our daughter. In others, and hardest of all, in himself — and in me, his wife. We promised each other to call it out respectfully and lovingly, because we’re part of the same team.