After months of swinging helplessly away at health care like a stick-wielding blindfolded child in search of a piñata, Republicans have finally moved on. Time to get sh*t done—Wednesday’s the big tax roll out. How about letting reporters gaggle with Donald Trump for a little sneak peek?
The questioning presumably began with Roy Moore's upset win in Alabama, to which Trump responded, "Well, we have a man who is going to be a great senator, and I’m very happy with that."
But enough about that. Trump pivots to the matter at hand, per the White House transcript from the gaggle:
THE PRESIDENT: I just wanted to say, though, on healthcare, we have the votes for healthcare. We have one senator that's in the hospital. He can't vote because he’s in the hospital. He can't vote because he’s in the hospital. We have two other votes that are coming, and we will have them. But the problem is we can't have them by Friday -- because the reconciliation ends on Friday.
So we’ll have to do it in January or February. But I feel we have the votes. I’m almost certain we have the votes.
#Breaking: Republicans have the votes...
Q: Do you have concerns about how your aides are spending taxpayer money on this phone booth at the EPA?
Quit trying to change the subject! Trump sticks to his message discipline.
THE PRESIDENT: We're talking about healthcare.
Annoying reporter re-asks the question. Trump humors them by saying he's "not happy" about Sec. Price’s private jet exploits and he's "going to look at it."
Next question: Is McConnell in trouble? At which point, Trump apparently remembers he's about to give a big tax speech.
THE PRESIDENT: You’ll have to ask senators about [McConnell]. So you’re going to have to ask senators.
So here’s what I’m just saying. We're going right now to Indiana. We're going to introduce a tax plan that's the largest tax cut, essentially, in the history of our country. It’s going to be something special. You already know some of the numbers. We're going to give you some of the additional numbers.
But on healthcare, we have the votes. We can't do it now because we have somebody in a hospital -- and we have great respect for that gentleman, by the way. He's a fantastic man.
Health care is Trump's Brokeback Mountain—he just can't quit it.
Q Are you confident, sir, that Mitch McConnell can get healthcare across the finish line?
THE PRESIDENT: I think we're there now, John. I'll be honest. You look at the statement put out by Alaska -- right, you saw that -- by Lisa. You look at the other couple of statements. You know, we're only one off, maybe two.
Just one or two off—but we totally have it, believe me. Anyway, enough lying about health care, time for some tall tales on taxes.
Q Mr. President, on tax reform, does your plan help the wealthy too much? There's criticism that it gives you tax breaks.
THE PRESIDENT: My plan is for the working people, and my plan is for jobs.
Q So you wouldn't benefit under your tax plan?
THE PRESIDENT: No, I don't benefit. I don't benefit.
Q You don't think rich people benefit?
THE PRESIDENT: In fact, very, very strongly, as you see, there's no -- I think there's very little benefit for people of wealth.
#Breaking: Trump has the heathcare votes and his tax plan doesn't benefit the rich. Anyway, enough about taxes.
Q Mr. President, what do you say to the things that Roy Moore has said in the past. He thinks it's wrong to be gay, he thinks that there's a Muslim member of Congress who doesn't deserve to have that seat; he used the phrases "reds" and "yellows" to talk about people of that history.
THE PRESIDENT: I don't see it, but we'll talk to you about that at a different time. So here's the point --
Q Do you worry that he's so incendiary? That he's such a firebrand that says these controversial things -- do you worry about that?
THE PRESIDENT: The point is this: Healthcare -- we have it; we have the votes. Because of reconciliation we have to wait until January, February, or March, which we'll do.
The point is: It’s in the bag, folks, they're just one or two off.
Trump erased his tweets about supporting Luther Strange, but he can’t erase the fact that he’s a three-time loser on health care while President Obama’s Affordable Care Act remains the law of the land.