In disussions here about allegations of sexual harassment and abuse, among other issues, I’ve seen commenters virtually shout at others, “You can’t understand!”
It might be surprising what people can understand.
I am not about to go into details about my past, but I wish people would pause and consider how varied a person’s experience might be before declaring, “You can’t know.”
There are people with limited melanin content who really may understand what it’s like to be a racial minority, even a minority of one, in their neighborhoods, greeted with suspicion and even hate when they went about their business.
There are men from secure and privileged backgrounds who may know exactly what it’s like to experience sexual harassment, abuse and even worse, often at the hands people they trusted.
This is not a “what about” essay, merely a request that writers and commenters consider how unusual and unexpected real life can be. Before you tell someone they can’t understand, consider the possibility that they already do.
A caveat, or concession, or something: It’s unlikely to the point of impossible that a white man in America can understand what it’s like to face the fear of harassment and violence for simply living inside his skin every time he closes his front door behind him. But even limited experience can be highly educational.
There are other issues related to this post I may explore later.