A little holiday fun, starting with Genesis 1:20-24:
20 And God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky.” … 24 And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.
… and until now, that was the only explanation for the creation of animals. But a couple of years back, a group of people got together and delved into the nuts and bolts of the heavenly thinking behind it all, and what they discovered will amaze you!
God: Make them really fluffy and adorable like little furry hugs.
Angel: That’s so swee …
God: And put razor blades on their feet.
God: Put a needle on its butt.
Angel: Come on, God, wha …
God: Make its puke delicious.
Angel: WTF?!?!
There’s more … much, much more ...
God: How about a sock that’s angry all the time?
God: Make it like a shitty brown peacock.
Angel: Anything else?
God: Hang a nut-sack on its face. LOL.
God: How about a fat horse that’s always trying to sneak up on you in a pool?
God: Give it eight super strong arms and hands
Angel: Uh, we’re out of bones.
God: Eight weird floppy arms with suction cup things.
God: How about a big, nervous wall-eyed rat?
Head to the link to learn about the thinking process behind even more animals … or share your own theories in the comments.