What Are You Working On? is for all things hand-made, home-made, and creative in a variety of mediums.
I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about for this diary but whatever it was, that changed when my brother suffered a massive stroke and went into a coma. He is being well cared for in a neurological intensive care unit at a local magnet hospital.
What am I working on now? Spending a lot of time in the hospital with the family members. So this diary has morphed into the craft of spending long hours in the hospital. How do you do it? Several things to keep in mind:
1) Staff is always busy. They cannot drop everything to answer your every question. Be patient and courteous. You’ll get more answers that way.
2) Have patience. Beyond anything you thought you might have. Both my mother and father had long illness. I have practice in this, but it can be cultivated. Small talk in low voices is useful. It might seem odd to talk about the weather when you are sitting in the ICU, but there is only so long you can ask: do you think he will recover? You don’t know. Gentle, almost non-consequential, conversations pass the time and are reaffirming. They remind you of better times.
3) Bring books or crafts to do (knitting, cross stitch, etc). Most ICU units limit the amount of time you can spend with the patient. You will spend more time in the waiting room. Be prepared for that. Even if they have a TV. Yesterday the TV was on a cop true story channel. I don’t watch that stuff but another family wanted that. I sat so I couldn’t see the TV and knit.
4) Be considerate of the other people in the waiting room. Don’t pace (irritates everyone); eat in the hospital cafeteria, not the waiting room. No one wants to smell your bacon cheeseburger for the next hour. Keep your conversation in low tones. There will likely be several family groups there.
5) Remember that everyone is under stress. It is easy at this time to start family fights. Emotions are running high. Jake doesn’t like what the Dr. just said; Mary thinks it’s fine. They start to disagree, loudly. It happens. Be prepared to take a walk if necessary.
6) Always have two people listening when talking with a Dr. It may seem ridiculous, but one person may hear something the other person misses. We tend to have 3 — 4 people if possible for major conferences with the primary Dr. (in this case the neurosurgeon).
7) Everyone needs to eat and sleep. Again this seems obvious but the first couple of days we were doing the around the clock rotating people sitting in the room with my brother when they would allow it. This wears everyone out and increases possibilities of misunderstanding. Neurosurgeon specifically told us to stop with the 24 hour vigil. It is hard; you want to be with him, even if he is in a coma, but Dr. was right. At least now we are not going overnight sitting at the hospital.
8) Be courteous to everyone and remember different people deal with emotional issues differently. Make allowances for this.
Hopefully you will never need these suggestions, but in case you do. I hope this will provide some useful guidance if you find yourself waiting longs hours at a hospital.
What are you working on?