When I first saw this story on my Facebook feed today, I thought it couldn’t possibly be real. As somebody who is more than a little familiar with the adjunct circuit, I know that sometimes there are...questionable people being put in charge of college classrooms, both in-person and online. But this one seemed a little farfetched:
Southern New Hampshire University has apologized to a student who failed an assignment because her professor insisted Australia was a continent, not a country.
But no, it’s real, and even worse than you think.
Apparently, the assignment, which was for an online sociology class, was to compare a social norm in the U.S. and one other country. Ashley Arnold, a student in the course, chose social media in the U.S. and Australia. She ended up failing the assignment, receiving zeroes on multiple parts of the rubric because Australia is a continent, not a country. After inquiring about the grade by email (and including sources supporting the “Australia is a real country” argument), the instructor doubled down:
I will gladly re-examine your week 2 milestone project report.
But before I do I want you to understand that any error in a project can invalidate the entire research project.
Research is like dominoes, if you accidentally knock over one piece the entire set will also fall.
Australia is a continent; it is not a country. That error made it nearly impossible for you to accurately complete your week 2 research outline correctly.
As I mentioned above I will look over your week two paper once again and see if you earned more credits than I gave you.
Okay, now I’m starting to question the instructor’s koalafications.
…
…..
……….
Sorry. Moving on...
Arnold responded by emailing a link to the “About Australia” section of official website of the Australian government—a government that is not supposed to exist. She then asked the instructor to let her know if any more resources were needed proving the existence of the Commonwealth of Australia. To which the instructor responded:
Thank you for this web-address
After I do some independent research on the continent/country issue I will review your paper.
After the “independent research” was complete and Australia’s country status was confirmed (and the instructor’s world rocked, I’m sure), the failing grade was bumped up to a B+. But...
The professor never apologized for the error, but did acknowledge she had a "misunderstanding about the difference between Australia as a country and a continent."
Still, the professor had another warning for Arnold as she prepares to write her final assignment: "Please make sure the date, the facts, and the information you provide in your report is about Australia the country and not Australia the continent."
For their part, Southern New Hampshire University has officially recognized Australia (I’m sure Australians are relieved) and replaced the Australia-denying instructor:
After seeing this story and reading the wild email exchange between Arnold and the instructor, I was reminded of a time in high school when my history teacher marked my paper down because I used the word “envisage.” Admittedly, it’s kind of a douchey word to use and it was completely unnecessary in the paper, but he denied that it was even a real word. That history teacher is now in administration, because of course he is.
But maybe the SNHU instructor is on to something. After all, I’m starting to feel like we’re not a real country, but rather just a really trippy new season of Black Mirror. And if we’re not a real country, maybe this presidency isn’t real. Just something that I’m envisaging…
Which countries do you deny? What about New Zealand? Has anybody actually been to New Zealand? I’ve always been skeptical. I’m going to have to do some independent research.
What do you want to kibitz about tonight?