As many of you guys know, I’ve watched the religious right for the better part of two decades, dating back to my high school days. I’ve seen a lot of lunacy in that time. Heck, I even entered the very belly of the beast when I got suckered into joining an abusive hypercharismatic campus ministry in my freshman year at Carolina.
But I don’t think I’ve seen or heard anything as outrageous from a religious right luminary as what American Family Radio morning host Sandy Rios said on Thursday. She actually had the gall to say that women who say they are victims of abuse shouldn’t be believed if they come forward. This is unacceptable, and Rios must pay with her job. Sign this petition telling the American Family Association to fire Rios immediately.
While discussing the Rob Porter imbroglio on Thursday’s show, Rios recalled how Porter’s second wife, Jennifer Willoughby, was forced to get a protective order after Porter kicked in the door. Did Rios offer words of comfort? Nope. Listen to what she actually said here, via Right Wing Watch.
Rios said that in light of recent events, “I just don’t think you can trust women now when they say they’re being abused.” She later pooh-poohed how bad emotional abuse can be, since marriages can get “emotional and volatile.” While she stressed that there is no defensible reason for a man to ever hit a woman, she mused that “hitting their fists, knocking in a door—it’s what men do when they are mad.”
Even now, just thinking about it makes me shake with anger. I was in an emotionally abusive marriage for three years, so I know from experience that Rios’ suggestion emotional abuse isn’t that bad is complete, unadulterated bullshit. And Willoughby didn’t just have to endure having Porter kick the door in. She claims that Porter screamed and cursed at her so much that she was completely beaten down when she finally divorced him. It even caused her to get a miscarriage.
And that’s before we even discuss Rios’ outrageous claim that women shouldn’t be believed. It’s rather ironic that she likened this to the Roy Moore situation, because claptrap like this is exactly why those women took so long to come forward. They were afraid that no one would listen to them, and in many cases got thrown under the bus by some of the very people who should have lifted them up—their church families.
Imagine a woman who is in an abusive relationship or marriage and wants to get out and speak up, and happens to hear Rios spew this on the radio or online. Hearing something this degrading could either keep her from leaving or keep her from coming forward. Do you want that on your conscience, Sandy?
As I note at Liberal America, this is especially outrageous considering that Willoughby and Porter’s first wife, Colbie Holderness, say that Mormon church officials didn’t step in to help when they initially spoke up. Plus, as most of us know, Rachel Denhollander, the first woman to accuse Larry Nassar, says that coming forward ultimately forced her out of her church.
This is victim-shaming of the worst type, and is completely unacceptable. There is only one acceptable solution—Rios must be fired. It cannot be stressed enough—her comments are exactly why victims don’t come forward, and often stay in abusive relationships. Unless American Family Association president Tim Wildmon wants that on his conscience, he will fire Rios immediately. Sign here.