In case you missed it, on Thursday morning, American Family Radio morning drive host Sandy Rios declared—with a straight face—that we shouldn’t believe women who say they’ve been abused. The mere thought that a woman who is in an abusive relationship or marriage could have been listening to this and be discouraged from getting out and/or coming forward should sent a chill down anyone’s spine. Does Rios want that on her conscience?
That alone demands that Rios be fired—unless the American Family Association wants this on its conscience as well. But there’s a personal reason why this still has me shaking with anger.
Rios was riffing about the Rob Porter scandal, and used the occasion to pooh-pooh women who say they have been emotionally abused. In case you missed it, listen here (via Right Wing Watch).
Recalling how Porter’s second wife, Jennifer Willoughby, claimed Porter kicked in a door, Rios mused that it’s merely something men do when they’re mad. What she left out, as I noted earlier at Liberal America, is that Willoughby had to endure constant put-downs, cursing and screaming—to the point that she miscarried in 2013.
As many longtime Kossacks know, I was in Willoughby’s shoes. I was married to an emotionally abusive and controlling woman for three years. Every other word out of her mouth when she got mad was an F-bomb. Constant put-downs, screaming, the lot. By the time I left her in 2006 (we divorced in 2007), I was completely beaten down. Some of my friends later told me that they could tell it was weighing on me.
That’s what had me wanting to throw something at my monitor when Rios harrumphed that when Willoughby claimed Porter kicked the door in, it wasn’t really abuse. News flash, Sandy—emotional abuse can be every bit as hurtful as physical abuse. Imagine a woman who is with an emotionally abusive husband or boyfriend and wants to leave. But if she hears this, she may think that what she’s going through may not be abuse at all. Do you want that on your conscience, Sandy? Do you want that on your conscience, AFA?
There are certain matters on which there is no other side. And one of those matters is that victim-shaming and victim-blaming are unacceptable. If AFA president Tim Wildmon has anything at all in him, he will fire Rios immediately, unless Rios has the decency to apologize and resign herself. Sign this petition calling for Rios to be fired. It will deliver a message straight to Wildmon’s inbox. Let’s keep the pressure on.