Thanks to everyone on here who kept me in their thoughts, donations, prayers. I wish I could take the time to thank each individual person but since I have paypal names not “handles” for the most part it is hard for me to know who is who and to thank people without outing them. Also I have turned into such a loser, as the rest of the diary will show that I am beyond hope.
I needed 400 dollars to cover rent, for which I received 538. I just calculated the money up tonight. Unfortunately I found out tonight from my BIL that even with the assistance of the lawyer he hired for me (Thinking I could pay him back for some reason assuming I’d have savings when I moved into the new place) that I was denied yet again as earned too much. That is why I am totally fucked. The place I want to move into, with assisted living costs covered, etc...and is culturally what I want says I make 4000 too much extra a year due to stock dividends based on my 401 K and how HUD calculates earnings even though I only make 1850 a month since I can’t touch the 401 K money so I have no idea what reason HUD counts it for.
So then I thought I would move back to the place where I lived when I first moved here from Chicago… but that does not work since they’’re going to charge me near the total amount I get for just rent/food, not counting other bills (medical, pharmacy, phone, etc).
On top of that I saw my oral surgeon today and he wants 265 dollars to remove my tooth but he can’t do that until the dentist cuts my bridge in half, which is another 250 dollars which means I will be living with a tooth infection for a long while.
i am on medicare, have applied for medicaid but been denied since my medicare is too much. That sums up my life/situation I am screwed up so I cannot work/qualify for regular benefits but I made too much when I was working to get too much in benefits and medicare for my 401 K that I screwed myself out that way.
I am just going to give up and give in….I do not know what else to do.