This week, in the aftermath of the deadliest high school shooting in American history, President @realDonaldTrump tried and failed to claim the mantle of Consoler-in-Chief.
During a televised White House listening session—not be confused with a Jeff Session [sic]—Trump had a clear message for survivors of gun violence: "I hear you."
Unfortunately, as is usually the case, Trump only heard what he wanted to hear (NO COLLUSION).
Rather than embrace actions that have all-but-eliminated mass shootings in countries like Australia and the United Kingdom, Trump latched on to a radical proposal that—in what is surely a coincidence—neatly aligns with the NRA's priorities.
Scientific studies proving that more guns won't reduce crime notwithstanding, Trump called for arming teachers and other school staff.
What could possibly go wrong?
Morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-MN); Sen. Pat Toomey (R-PA); Rep. Thomas Massie (R-KY); Roundtable: David Brody (CBN News), Helene Cooper (New York Times), Former White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest & Danielle Pletka (American Enterprise Institute).
Face The Nation: Rep. Ted Deutch (D-FL); Rep. Brian Mast (R-FL); Arkansas Gov. Asa Hutchinson (R); Gun Violence Panel: Columbine Survivor Austin Eubanks, Father of Slain Journalist Alison Parker Andy Parker, Orlando Police Chief during Pulse Shooting John Mina, Mother of Newtown Victim Jospehine Gay Michele Gay & Mother of Newtown Victim Dylan Hockley Nicole Hockley; Roundtable: Shawna Thomas (Vice News), Reihan Salam (National Review), David Nakamura (Washington Post) & Rachel Bade (Politico).
This Week: Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper (D); Ohio Gov. John Kasich; NRA Spokesidiot Dana Loesch; Marjory Stoneman Douglas Student David Hogg & Teacher Ashley Kurtz; Roundtable: TBA.
Fox News Sunday: Florida Gov. Rick Scott (R) Marjory Stoneman Douglas Student Delaney Tarr & Father of Student Killed Andrew Pollack; Roundtable: Republican Strategist Karl Rove, Former Rep. Donna Edwards (D-MD), Kimberly Strassel (Wall Street Journal) & Jonathan Swan (Axios).
State of the Union: Sen. Chris Murphy (D-CT); Broward Sheriff Scott Israel; Roundtable: Former Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA), Former Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm (D), Republican Strategist Bryan Lanza & Karine Jean-Pierre (MoveOn).
Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will feature: rare footage showing a chemical attack in Syria (preview); an interview with Oscar-winning actress Jennifer Lawrence (preview); and, an interview with a French artists who posts huge photos on public structures so people can look at them and see themselves (preview).
Late night shows:
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Monday: Actress Jennifer Lawrence; Actor/Comedian Patton Oswalt; Rock Band MGMT.
Tuesday: Actor Kiefer Sutherland; Actress Zoe Lister-Jones; Linguist John McWhorter.
Wednesday: Actor Donald Glover; Comedian Sebastian Maniscalco (CNN); Musical Duo IBEYI.
Thursday: Actor Jeff Daniels; Actress Krysten Ritter; Musical Artist Noah Kahan.
Friday: Actor Steve Buscemi.
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah
Monday: Author Michael Wolff; Tuesday: Author Jason Reynolds; Wednesday: NHL Player P.K. Subban; Thursday: Cecile Richards (Planned Parenthood).
Elsewhere...
The NRA's attempt to get in on the meme game backfired spectacularly.
The National Rifle Association thanked spokesperson Dana Loesch after she appeared at a CNN-hosted town hall on Wednesday by tweeting a GIF taken from the TV show "Parks and Recreation."
The choice did not go down well.
The show's co-creator Michael Schur asked the NRA to take the clip down, and shared a strong rebuke from Amy Poehler, the show's star and the subject of the GIF.
"Amy isn’t on Twitter, but she texted me a message: 'Can you tweet the NRA for me and tell them I said fuck off?'" Schur wrote.
Nick Offerman, who also starred in the NBC comedy, penned a sharply worded takedown of his own.
Adam Scott, who played Knope's husband Ben Wyatt on the sitcom, also fired back.
Meanwhile...
Their national spokesperson, Dana Loesch, made some unsurprisingly grotesque remarks.
"Many in legacy media love mass shootings. You guys love it," Dana Loesch said Thursday. "Now I'm not saying that you love the tragedy. But I am saying that you love the ratings. Crying white mothers are ratings gold to you and many in the legacy media in the back (of the room)."
"And notice I said 'crying white mothers' because there are thousands of grieving black mothers in Chicago every weekend, and you don't see town halls for them, do you?" Loesch asked. "Where's the CNN town hall for Chicago? Where's the CNN town hall for sanctuary cities?"
Loesch appeared Wednesday evening at CNN's town hall in Florida that featured survivors of last week's shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School that left 17 people dead.
In her Thursday speech, Loesch claimed she needed private security to leave the town hall because "there were people rushing the stage and screaming 'burn her.'"
And, finally...
Laura Ingraham clutched her pearls over the way Parkland survivors have been treating Marco Rubio.
Since the shooting massacre at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School last week, a student there named Sarah Chadwick has amassed a Twitter following of more than 150,000 people. On Thursday night, Chadwick decided to share a thought with them.
"We should change the names of AR-15s to 'Marco Rubio' because they are so easy to buy," Chadwick wrote, earning 45,000 retweets.
"Sen. Rubio, it's hard to look at you and not look down a barrel of an AR-15 and not look at [suspected shooter] Nikolas Cruz," student activist Cameron Kasky told Rubio at CNN's Wednesday night town hall with students, parents and lawmakers. The remark drew scorn on the right.
Fellow student Chadwick's AR-15 zinger about Rubio drew the scorn of Fox News host Laura Ingraham, who, on her own Twitter account, called out the "sophomore" by name to flag concern over "HOW TEENS SPEAK TO AND ABT ADULTS."
Chadwick, suddenly identified for misbehavior by one of the most powerful figures in conservative media, responded drolly with three words that earned 15,000 retweets: "I'm a junior."
Teach your children well.
– Trix