Hunter Walker is the White House correspondent for Yahoo News. He was the designated print pool reporter for the unique Gridiron Club dinner wherein Donald Trump did his best to make the world laugh with him instead of at him for a change. If you haven’t read the full transcript of what took place, here are a few lowlights.
“There’s talk about Joe Biden, Sleepy Joe, getting into the race. You know what he said, ‘I want to take him behind the barn’…Just trust me, I would kick his ass,” Trump said. “Boy, would he be easy. Oh, would he be easy…But Joe, give me a break…He doesn’t have a shot.”
On Oprah, Trump, who likes to brag about the times he was a guest on Oprah’s show many years ago, claimed the self–made billionaire has “led a charmed life.” Addressing recent rumors that Oprah may be considering a run for the presidency in 2020, Trump said, “She says she’ll run only if she gets the go–ahead from the Almighty. All right, Oprah, go ahead and run.”
“How about that one? Maxine Waters. ‘He must be impeached!’ That’s all she knows how to say. ‘He must be impeached!’ Impeached!…And then I say…I get in trouble for this, ‘She has to immediately, take an IQ test.’ And people go crazy. They went crazy. But Maxine and Nancy [Pelosi] and these people, there’s a lot of hatred. There’s so much hatred we have to stop, Mike [Pence]. We have to stop the hatred.”
Reporters are like postmen, neither rain nor sleet nor dark of night (nor considerably odder obstacles, as you’ll read below) keep them from getting out the story:
This tale is reminescent of Roman Holiday starring Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn. Hepburn played an heiress who escapes the clutches of her privileged but stifled life and falls in love with an American newspaper man after meeting him in his cab.
The variation I would suggest is that the drunk pizza lady is a Russian spy and you can take it from there.