We are quite rightly concerned about the shocking number of gun deaths in America. 13,000 gun homicides a year. Nearly 20,000 suicides by gun. Every day, seven children (under 19) die by firearms. The epidemic is so alarming that the president’s proposal to arm “adept” teachers in schools is not only being seriously debated, but implemented in some states.
But, as the president himself has pointed out, there is an even deadlier scourge than guns abroad in our land: addiction. Opiate addiction, in particular.
While more than 30,000 will perish from gunfire this year, twice that number will die of drug overdoses, more than 30,000 from heroin and opiates alone.
In the face of such staggering statistics, there is only one logical path forward:
We must give teachers heroin.
Not all teachers, certainly. That would be crazy. The possibility of teachers killing themselves or innocent bystanders would be too great.
I never said give heroin to teachers. What I said was to look at the possibility of giving concealed heroin to dope adept teachers with junkie or special training experience - only the best. 20% of teachers.
It’s only logical. The only thing that can stop a bad guy with heroin is a good guy with heroin.
But scoring heavy dope for teachers isn’t a magic wand that will solve the problem by itself. The president should also convene a summit with the makers of jazz music.